Thursday, November 29, 2007

what to do when your man hits u once?

hulllo all,

well i guess i have to be diplomatic in answering this question since its a very sensitive one. at this point i must say that my answer to this question naturally isnt the only answer or the only approach to either ensure that your man dose not raise his hands against you 'ever' again or he dose so only when he is soooooooooo pushed to back up against the wall that he can't but hit you which to me is a call to end the relationship or if you wish to go ahead is your own personal cup of tea.

now back to business, when your man hits you for the very first time in your relationship for whatever reasons ' punish him' and ensure you do so real good.

below are the 5 basic things to do in steps when he hits you for the first time in your relationship.

1. the moment he commits the 'blunder' act very very suprised which naturally you should be, it will be nice to say something like 'waattttttt' give him a very depreciating dirty look while maintaining eye contact and then walk out on him fast without saying one word and dont even let him touch you or talk you from leaving his presence at that point.

2. remain incommunicado for about 3 or 4 days, would be nice if you can bring yourself to remain so for at least a week. during this time, DO NOT TAKE HIS CALLS, don't discuss it with any of his or your mutual frds even if he has asked them to do so.

3. you can now take his call for the first time since the 'blunder', watever you do, dont discuss it over the phone, agree to meet any where other than his or your home. when you do meet, let him start off, listen to his appologies and excuses for raising his hands on you, remain silient but maintain eye contact with him. when he has finished, tell him it all happened in rush and you really are trying to come to terms with the fact that he could actually raise his hands on you. tell him you need some time to think through wether its worth continuing the relationship or not after which you take your leave, HE MUST NOT DROP YOU OFF.

4. now, all these hard times are for him to realize that you are not cut out for abusive relationship and to make him understand that if he keeps at it,you will not hesitate to end the the relationship ( well, you may not even have the liver to do so, but it aint a bad idea to give him that impression o). take at least two days to punish him some more, dont take his calls, avoid his or your usual hang outs but if you must hang out, go with another man.

5. now, call him and invite him over, accept his appologises and you knnoooww, make up the usual way ( winks) make sure you talk over this, tell me what you feel about him raising his hands on you and tell it was really hard for you to come to terms with and that it was a fatal mistake that you know he wont ever make again.

well thats it, dont ever take the issue of your man battering you lightly as it may become a nasty routine.

if you have any comments or other ideas on how to do this better, pls pls pls leave me a comment.

cheers, its a woman's world.

me, ms. emotions

Monday, November 26, 2007

Calling Your New Guy & Sign to look out for in a man that HITS

personally i dont have a problem with her calling up the new guy so long the guy matches her calls with extra 5 calls ! yea !

you see, that you call a guy every 5 times in an hour really isnt the issue, it becomes an issue when the guy dose not call you as much as you call him. lets have two senarios here, if your new man deems it fit to call u evry 5 minutes just to talk to you probably cos you guys just met and love is so much in the air, then there really is no law that says you cant call him ones for every five times he calls you and that might make you call him say 10-20 times a day.

now senario two is this guy dose not call you at all or he calls just ones and then you call me 5o times extras in a day, that will practically drive him very far from you.

calling your steay man,

now when you guys have gone steady and chummy, the guy probably calls you ones a day, there is no rule that says you cant call him maybe two times ? a day. calling up your steady guy that you feel is constant in his love for you is not a problem at all but i advice people to ensure there is a balance in all you find yourselve doing in a relationship. when you meet a new guy that has not even asked you out yet pls DONT call him at all, that is a golden rule, and even when he has asked you out still apply the above rule in your calling him.

Signs to look out for in a man that 'hits'

i decided to put down a few things on this topic cos of the question linda ikeji had on her blog some time last week.

a man that hits a woman needless to say is a weakling and unfortunately there are no much signs to look out for in a man that hits his women.
i am firmly against abusive relationships hence my resolve to look deep into likely signs that woman beaters have but am sorry to say there is almost none to see. a man that hits a woman or have the tendency to hit a woman has just one give away. this kind of men when provoked, they tend to walk away from you almost immediately to avoid beating you, watch them closely you find that at that point in time they look for an object to hit or some one to lash out at. their fists at this time is so tight clenched that they struggle to keep it at their sides and at that moment they either walk away from you for a while or hit an object . my dears, other than these there jolly well are no signs that gives away a man as a violent man.

am going to ask this question and sincere comments or answers to it will be welcomed.

if your man hits you ones or for the first time what should you do?

watch out for the wisest thing to do in my next post.

take kare you all and thanx comrade for your comments.

Monday, November 19, 2007


hullo all,

how was ya weekend? did u have fun ? did anybody try out the game on our last discussion? i mean giving a guy his space.

anyways, a quick one pls. my little friend just met this guy - a perfect guy for her she said, but the only problem seem to be how much should she call him in a day or week?

i tot i should give others the oppurtunity to answer this. so how often do you think a girl can call her new man before she actually becomes a pest?


Friday, November 16, 2007


hello darlyns,
i sure have been away for too long this time, am sincerely sorry. i have actually been away on vacation, for two years that i have been working, never taken a break or any form of leave and now i had to. i didnt have internet facility in my house but am working seriously on putting that in order. how ve u guys been? ur relationships?

actually i have kinda put together a thousand and one post in my head and the one that came top was the POWER OF GRATITUDE. i ve actually put down one or two things on this until this last weekend when i stumbled on this GIVE A MAN HIS SPACE.

how many of u knows that at a point in a relationship a man feels all choked up? no, i dont mean that he dose not love again or anything like that. what i mean is that a man ones in a while feels there is something he his missing for being too long wit his partner ., u know, that he may ve been missing out of fun with his guy frds and all that, so why dont you just let him have this space, go see that there really is nothing new out there while u are giving him space. make him feel single and searching again, miss u and then come back. have u lost me?

ok ! see, men dont and cant appreciate wat they have if they have not gone out to compare notes. every relationship has its peak and lowest periods. girlfriends, do u know that relationships needs space to survive? do u know that the fastest way of showing a man how relevant u are in his life is by walking away abit? i mean staying apart awhile?

am not saying u should cause a fight and then walk away for awhile NOPE!
am saying u should give ur man his space by knowingly and indirectly leaving him to himselve some times, see, try this and come back to tell me how well it worked.

if u are always nagging down his head for his time, or weekends or some dayz in a week u are always telling him it is his duty to be with u, just blank him sweetly, come up wit this thing u just have to do, keep at it for a week or two ( make sure u are keeping though via phone, mail or txt) and then see how renewed ur relationship will be after wards.

i really got to go now,
come back for some more principles of a good relationship