Monday, December 24, 2007

merry xmas to u all

merry xmas and a prosperous 2008 to u all.

its less than 24 hours to xmas and everybody is already in the holiday/xmas mood. lagos is as busy as i have always remembered it to be. its time to rejoice and be merry. you all wil agree wit me that not all that celebrated the last xmas is alive to celebrate this one. we have so many things to be thankful to God for, that we are alive is one of them, not just that, that you have the good health to celebrate this season is another reason to be thankful.

alot of us drew up a list of things we wish to achieve at the begining of this year yeah? how many of those things were we able to achieve? i know this question is sure to put a lot of people in a bad mood, but i have good news for u, cheer up and be merry for God has not forgotten u, am not trying to be spiritual here or anything, but i really must say this, God has said in his words that he will perfect that which concerns you this 2008! u see how blessed u are?

forget those things u tot would have come to u this year, for 2008 is a year u will never forget in a hurry, why? cos God is going to perfect his plans for u and urs.

i think this will be my last post for the year,am not sure though, but if it happens to be my last for the year, pls do come back january 3rd 2008 for some emotional entertainment !

am out of here !
once again, merry xmas and a prosperous 2008 to ya al

Monday, December 17, 2007


Its 7am on a Monday morning, as I sit to look at my ‘to do’ list I can’t but pray fervently for the holidays to come. I look forward to those quiet mornings when I don’t have o set my alarm to 5am or rush out to face the hectic Lagos traffic. Enough of the self pity and let’s move on to today’s biz. By the way, hope you all are doing great and had a great weekend cos I sure did.

I want to thank all of you that took your time to read thru the last post and your honest opinions and comments.

You can call this a continuation of the last post,

I want to set the record right by stating that SEX is NOT always enough to make a good relationship. My last post was just to place emphasis on the importance of a good sex in a relationship and not to lead people to believe that just sex or good sex guarantees a good relationship. From the comments I got on that post, I think I may have mislead some of you to believe that sex is the only thing that keeps a relationship going.

I want to define sex and good relationship for the purpose of this post.

SEX: this is the act of love making between two people that are in love or feels something other than lust for each other.

GOOD RELATIONSHIP: this is the relationship between two adults that have marriage on their mind though they may not have proposed yet.

Now, I need you all to understand that at all times, the relationship I refer to is as defined above.
I am an African and as such place much importance on marriage. This is not to say that marriage must become a do or die affair, but marriage should be grabbed when it’s within our reach. We all know that these days, its hard to find somebody we can love and who will also bw willing to reciprocate our love, in other words, it’s hard to build a good relationship and remain in such relationship till it reaches its expected end which in this case is marriage or something close to it. Make no mistakes, I am aware that not all relationships leads to marriage, but please have it at the back of your mind that at all time, I Ms. Emotions believes that ‘this’ relationship should lead to marriage (grins) but don’t kill yourself if it dose not, just move on.

i really don’t know why sometimes, I have this weird idea that having sex is different from love making in a relationship. Just like “@ fantasy queen” had said in her comment on the last post, make up sex can be great yet the relationship it self is rotten. It’s in this kind of scenarios that I find myself believing that you don’t have sex in a good relationship, what you do or have is make love or love making.

Great sex is not enough to keep a relationship neither is it enough to make a relationship great. It is assumed that people get into relationships with some level of love or feelings no matter how small for each other. Based on this, it is expected that this couple do not engage in just sex, they make love, and you all will agree with me that love making has this binding force that tends to bring couples closer. Of course people have sex without necessarily having any emotional attachment to their partner, this is why I had gone ahead to define sex and relationship for the purpose of this post. Love making has powers of its own, it has this force that makes you to either re appraise that relationship or define it, it even makes you try analyzing your relationship.

Like I mention in my last post, Nigerian women find it difficult to enjoy love making, they almost do not take active part in the love making, I can imagine why a woman can be creative and take the lead in love making. I have this guy friend that is almost 35 years yet single, each time I bring up the issue of him not having a steady girlfriend let alone married, out of the blues, a naughty grin appears on his handsome face as he speaks of his many experience with our Nigerian women, “don’t mind these girls that can’t afford to be themselves, imagine you meet a girl, make your intentions for a steady relationship known and when you get down to making love she turns into an ice maiden. Look, I have had to try on several occasions to see if this will change rather it gets worst, and you know me now, how am I supposed to be in a relationship wit a girl I might end up marrying and always go out for sexual fulfillment? ‘’

This is what my friend keeps saying each time the issue of him being single comes up. This has made me understand why most relationship becomes stagnant. When a man can not derive pleasure with his spouse, he either moves on or remains while searching for a replacement and when this happens we say we say ‘he broke my heart’.

Sex alone is not enough to keep a relationship though, other things like trust, commitment, understanding each other, giving room for open communication, respect , gratitude amongst others are also needed.
You can’t keep your man or get a man to love you by giving him full dose of sex, you must have defined your relationship before hand and then with good sex and other relationship ‘ingredients ‘ you should have yourself a good relationship.

But don’t forget that if a relationship is not defined, you may apply all of the relationship ‘ingredients’ and yet you find your self messed up. Don’t go dating a man that has not in clear terms asked you to be his girlfriend with the intention of keeping him with great sex and all cos it won’t work.

Wow! I have to go back to work now before I get a query from by boss lol.

As always, your comments are highly appreciated.

Compliment of the season to you all.

Ms. Emotions

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

good sex = good relationship

hullo daryns, howdy?

i have been really busy at work, you know year end and all, coupled with the target i have had to give myself in other to get my book completed at least first quarter of next near. yeah ! i have this relationship book am trying to put together but believe me it's not been easy coming out with something different from all the relationship solution books littered all over the place. am working on having something extraordinary, something either of the sexes can pick up at any time and then learn to move on in life and to expect better things when faced with broken relationships and a lot more.

so back to todays business, my assumption is there are no minors amongs my readers and if am wrong about this, please my dears, if u know u are below 18 years please skip this post as you may find some words or phrases offensive.

good sex = good relationship, good relationship = good sex

sex unknow to most of all is the basic ingredient for a good relationship. now read btw the lines ladies, good sex is one thing that keeps your relationship alive.
every woman should be in touch with her sexuality, most women throw away their sexuality for the "nice girl" tag. most women forget that a woman can be sexy and sensual while being sophisticated. its high time women took active part in sex rather than waiting to be serviced. i know of women that can't even initiate sex due to the fear of being termed loose. i mean i can' begin to imagine why a woman can not enjoy love making with her man or initiate the act itself.

i have always told my friends that a woman can actually enjoy sex just as much as a man enjoys it while keeping her relationship without losing her self respect. you can actually guide your man to bring you satisfaction. you should be creative in bed ladies, am not saying that sex is the only way to a good relationship, rather am saying that good sex is one the things that can't be left out if you have it in mind to make your relationship a good one.

men cherish women who can confidently take charge in bed while retaining her sophistication out of bed. so ladies, please get in touch with the sexual side of your existence, make your self desirable, put on your romantic garmet and put some life into that relationship or marriage ! but rememba, DO NOT practice unsafe sex o, very important.

on a lighter note


Smart Bukari…………………………..

Bukary is a servant boy who every day drinks the wine of his Boss and to cover up for that he puts water in the bottle to replace what he drank. But the Boss having suspicions as to the quality of the wine, decides to buy pastis (a French wine that changes colour if you add water). Bukary as usual, takes a mouthful and add water to replace what he drank.However, soon after he added water the pastis became milky. When the Boss came backed and noticed it, he was sure he had managed to nail Bukary as thief!!!

At that same moment Bukary realized he was in trouble and decided to go into the kitchen. The Boss told his wife that "Cherished, you will see, he will be obliged to acknowledge ". He shouted: "Bukary!".
Bukary answered: "Yes, Boss".
"Who drank my pastis?".
No answer.
The Boss reiterated his question: still no answer. Then the Boss went to find Bukary in the kitchen and says to him: "You insane or what? Why when I call you you say "yes boss" but when I ask you a question you don't answer me? "

Bukary retorted that "It is that boss, when you are in the kitchen there, you don't understand anything at all, except the name " Then to prove that Bukary lies, the Boss says to him: "You stay beside Madam, me I go in the kitchen, and you ask me a question ". Bukary accepted.

The Boss went in the kitchen and Bukary shouted: "Boss". He answered: "Yes, Bukary". Bukary continued: "Who goes at the maid bedroom when the Madam is not there? ". No answer. Bukary shouted again: "Boss, I say who made the maid pregnant?" No answer. Third time; "Boss, I say who made the maid pregnant?"

The Boss returns from the kitchen running and says "Bukary: It is true, you are right, when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, only the name ".


Friday, December 7, 2007

Sex Myths Exposed


if a girl's hymen is broken, torn, or missing, she is not a virgin.

-OR-If a girl doesn't bleed during sex, she is not a virgin.


The hymen is a thin layer of skin that partially covers the vagina. Its purpose is to protect the vagina from bacteria and other harmful pathogens. This skin is very sensitive, and easily torn. Some girls are born without a hymen, and others have their hymens broken from sports, horseback riding, using tampons, or during manual sex. While the hymen is often broken during a girl's first time having intercourse, there is a high possibility that the hymen will already be torn before that, or not fully torn after that. Every girl is different. So, the presence or absence of a hymen is no indication of virginity.
If the hymen does break during sex, most often there will be some bleeding, because the tissue has blood vessels in it. However, some women don't experience bleeding, and of course their hymen may already be torn. Also, some bleed the first few times they have sex. So if she doesn't bleed, it doesn't necessarily mean she has already been devirginized.


If a guy doesn't come, or ejaculate, during sex, there is no chance of pregnancy.


This method, called the withdrawal method, AKA pulling out, AKA coitus interrupts, is a totally ineffective method of pregnancy prevention. After a guy is aroused, and during sexual activity, pre-ejaculatory fluid, AKA precum, is secreted from the urethra. The purpose of this fluid is to neutralize the urethra so the sperm can survive. This fluid contains - you guessed it - SPERM! And as we all know, sperm can very well impregnate a woman. While the amount of sperm is considerably less than released during ejaculation, there is still a significant chance of pregnancy. Consider this: An average of 300 million sperm are released during ejaculation. If one tenth of that amount is released in the precum, that's still 30 million sperm, and it takes only ONE to get pregnant, so wrap it up boys! Another interesting fact: A girl who doesn't use protection during sex has a 90% chance of getting pregnant during the first year.


If a girl has sex during her period; there is no chance of pregnancy.


theoretically, a girl will ovulate before her period, and during her period the egg will be shed from the uterus, so no egg, no pregnancy. However, this theory is highly unreliable, particularly during the teen years. Most teens have very irregular cycles because their bodies are still trying to regulate themselves. Even if a girl's period shows up at the same time each month, her ovulation could still be out of whack, so there's no way to tell when an egg will or will not be present. Not to mention, sperm can live five to seven days inside the vagina, thereby increasing the chance of pregnancy. So menstruation is by no means a safe time to have sex. The "rhythm method," or determining approximate times of ovulation, should to be used when TRYING to get pregnant, not when trying avoiding it.


You can't get pregnant if it is your first time having sex.


There is absolutely no basis to this statement. Most girls have started their period before their first time having sex, which means they all ovulate. If the egg is there, and the sperm are there, there will always be a chance of pregnancy, whether it's the first time or the hundreth time.


drinking lots of Mountain Dew will decrease sperm count, and thus prevent pregnancy, thanks to the coloring agent Yellow No. 5.


Yellow No 5 is a safe chemical, used for adding a yellow color to Mountain Dew, as well as many other food products. The chemical has no effect on sperm count, thus rendering it ineffective as a contraceptive. Even if it did lower your sperm count, you would still have sperm, and it only takes one to get pregnant.


you can't get pregnant from anal sex.


Well, this one is partially true. You can't get pregnant directly from anal sex, because the anus has no connection to the uterus or fallopian tubes. However, sperm can very easily dribble out and make their way to the vagina, so there is a very real risk of pregnancy. Your best bet is to use a condom anyway.


A girl who hasn't started menstruating can't get pregnant.


Nobody can predict when they will get their first period. A non-menstruating girl could be ovulating the very moment you have sex with her, but you would never know it, and neither would she since she hasn't had her first period yet.


Two condoms are better than one.


NEVER use two condoms at the same time. Doing so will increase the friction upon the condoms, and greatly increase their chance of breaking.

MYTH If you use someone's birth control pills before having sex, you won't get pregnant.


For one thing, you shouldn't use birth control pills that haven't been prescribed to you. You could be allergic to the pills and cause damage to yourself. It is highly necessary to have a full gynecological exam before taking any kind of hormonal birth control. Secondly, birth control pills take a full MONTH to be at all effective, so one day and one pill won't help you at all.


You can't get STDs or STIs from giving or receiving oral sex.


This is one of the most dangerous myths in existence. Any exposure to genitalia or body fluids puts you at risk for catching an STD. There are many STDs that can be transitted through oral sex, including genital herpes, genital warts (HPV), gonorrhea, hepatitis A, hepatitis B, chlamydia, canchoid, syphilis, internal parasite (amebiasis), and rarely, HIV. To prevent getting an STD from oral sex, you and your partner should get screened for STDs, and you should always use a condom or dental dam (a latex square or cut open condom) during oral sex. But of course, you can only catch an STD if your partner has one in the first place, so get tested!


If you douche or go to the bathroom after sex, you will decrease the chance of pregnancy.


when it comes to douching, the opposite is true. Douching will actually push sperm farther up the vagina. Besides, by the time you make it to the bathroom, millions of sperm have already made their way through the vagina.
Urinating also has no effect on conception. Urine comes out the urethra, which is in no way connected to the vagina or uterus. However, it is a good idea to urinate before and after sex to get rid of any bacteria that could cause infection in the vagina.


You can't get pregnant or catch an STD in a shower, bath, or pool.

TRUTH If a penis is inside the vagina, there is a risk of pregnancy and a risk of getting an STD, water or not. However, if a guy comes in a pool or bath but hasn't been inside you, there is basically no risk of pregnancy. Those little spermie guys can swim, but they aren't olympic athletes and won't survive in the water for very long. And of course, you can only catch an STD if your partner has one in the first place, so get tested!

MYTH the condition "blue balls" is something guys make up.


Blue balls, or painful vasocongestion, is actually a very real condition. It can also occur in women, but this is not as common. Vasocongestion occurs during arousal and blood flow increases to the genitals, exerting pressure on the blood vessels and surrounding tissue. After orgasm or ejaculation, the blood flow decreases and the pressure is released. But if orgasm or ejaculation doesn't occur, the pressure can cause pain or discomfort. This is not, however, a reason for a guy to coerce you into having or finishing sexual activity. Blue balls will neither kill nor maim a man.

i want to thank you all for your comments and ideas, i also want to reiterate that this blog's main focus is on relationship issues and ideas. readers are welcome to either contribute to or criticize any of the issues posted at any time.

thank you

Thursday, December 6, 2007


I have been blog surfing lately in the course of which I have come across lots of extremely nice blogs most of which I did like to include in my fav blogs but the problem is I can’t seem to figure out how to add them to my list. Can somebody pls help this poor gal on how to go about this? I feel so terribly old and dumb!

I have seen it happen so many times, I have read it in so many books, I have had it from so many mouths and the scary part of it is it actually works wonders. If you want to scare away your man, girls! Just go ahead and do any or all of these things listed below.

Of course there are relationships that you as a young lady know is not beneficial to you but then there are those ones you can do absolutely anything to keep or make it work out, every girl that’s 27+ definitely knows what am talking about here. If you have ever been in love then you also will understand most of the things am going to list below, they are things we do unconsciously when in love but unknown to most of us the easiest way to scare a man away.

1. Nag at every slightest opportunity you find
2. Always run yourself down by telling him nasty things about yourself, your family or your past relationships
3. ensure you ask him everyday if he still loves you or how much he loves you
4. Make him promise over and over again never to hurt you like your ex did.
5. Make crying your only way of getting through to him
6. Don’t allow him hang out with his male friends or have his usual sports session with his friends, each time he brings it up go on and go on about how you cant let him out of your sight for a min !
7. Call him incessantly, like 10 times a day
8. If you use to be very fashionable when you met, lose your fashion sense!
9. Drop your identity and take on his
10. Tell him you have your wedding all planed in your head and all you are waiting for is the groom, you might even add that you believe he is the lucky guy lol.

Who will or has tried out any of these and how long did it take him to ‘disappear’?

I simply can’t wait to hear from you guys


Monday, December 3, 2007


There is something I have been meaning to share with you all. Its something most of us take for granted, the simplicity of it alone tends to make us disregard it most times.

It is unknown to most of us a secret weapon that we can use to win the battles of life. I said the ‘battles’ of life because it can be applied in more than one area of our life, in fact it should be applied to all areas of our lives, but am going to concentrate on its application in our relationships.

Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of it all because just this one idea can change your life completely. What am I talking about?


Yes, it’s the power of appreciation.
Appreciation is the act of recognizing a positive or favorable act; it is a feeling or expression of gratitude. It can also be defined as a full understanding of the meaning or importance of someone, an act or something.

Do you know that feeling you get each time you are appreciated or your effort or action is appreciated? You have to agree with me that there is always the feeling of inner happiness each time you or your action is appreciated. You can imagine what such a simple gratitude can do to your spouse or partner each time they did something nice.

Appreciation is a weapon that can be used in every area of our lives and even our love lives. A lot of people don’t realize why relationships and marriages appear to be loveless after a given period of time. Relationships needs spark to bring them back to life after appearing dead for a long time. Look, its natural that marriages or relationships that are past 6months or a year will generally appear boring, if this occurs, the easiest way to bring back the spark is to begin to appreciate your partner for the little things they do, throw them compliments at the time they least expect, show gratitude for little gestures of love from them, then sit back and watch how little appreciation brings back that newness in your relationship or marriage.

Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this word as it’s the one word that can make a big difference in your life. My advice is that showing appreciation should not be limited to our relationships, we should always appreciate people; appreciate God, show gratitude to our parents and to everybody around us.

Do you know what a simple “Oh? Thank you” could do to that cleaner? That house help? That your mechanic? That your driver? It puts a smile on their faces, it makes them appreciate themselves and God the more, these people least expects gratitude from you, after all they are paid to do what they do, but have your taken your time to think of the positive impact this show of gratitude from you could have in their life?

Think about this, gratitude makes the world in general a better place.

It’s a new week, a bright and beautiful Monday morning, enjoy the week as I wish you the very best this new week.

Thank you all for your comments on the last post,


Thursday, November 29, 2007

what to do when your man hits u once?

hulllo all,

well i guess i have to be diplomatic in answering this question since its a very sensitive one. at this point i must say that my answer to this question naturally isnt the only answer or the only approach to either ensure that your man dose not raise his hands against you 'ever' again or he dose so only when he is soooooooooo pushed to back up against the wall that he can't but hit you which to me is a call to end the relationship or if you wish to go ahead is your own personal cup of tea.

now back to business, when your man hits you for the very first time in your relationship for whatever reasons ' punish him' and ensure you do so real good.

below are the 5 basic things to do in steps when he hits you for the first time in your relationship.

1. the moment he commits the 'blunder' act very very suprised which naturally you should be, it will be nice to say something like 'waattttttt' give him a very depreciating dirty look while maintaining eye contact and then walk out on him fast without saying one word and dont even let him touch you or talk you from leaving his presence at that point.

2. remain incommunicado for about 3 or 4 days, would be nice if you can bring yourself to remain so for at least a week. during this time, DO NOT TAKE HIS CALLS, don't discuss it with any of his or your mutual frds even if he has asked them to do so.

3. you can now take his call for the first time since the 'blunder', watever you do, dont discuss it over the phone, agree to meet any where other than his or your home. when you do meet, let him start off, listen to his appologies and excuses for raising his hands on you, remain silient but maintain eye contact with him. when he has finished, tell him it all happened in rush and you really are trying to come to terms with the fact that he could actually raise his hands on you. tell him you need some time to think through wether its worth continuing the relationship or not after which you take your leave, HE MUST NOT DROP YOU OFF.

4. now, all these hard times are for him to realize that you are not cut out for abusive relationship and to make him understand that if he keeps at it,you will not hesitate to end the the relationship ( well, you may not even have the liver to do so, but it aint a bad idea to give him that impression o). take at least two days to punish him some more, dont take his calls, avoid his or your usual hang outs but if you must hang out, go with another man.

5. now, call him and invite him over, accept his appologises and you knnoooww, make up the usual way ( winks) make sure you talk over this, tell me what you feel about him raising his hands on you and tell it was really hard for you to come to terms with and that it was a fatal mistake that you know he wont ever make again.

well thats it, dont ever take the issue of your man battering you lightly as it may become a nasty routine.

if you have any comments or other ideas on how to do this better, pls pls pls leave me a comment.

cheers, its a woman's world.

me, ms. emotions

Monday, November 26, 2007

Calling Your New Guy & Sign to look out for in a man that HITS

personally i dont have a problem with her calling up the new guy so long the guy matches her calls with extra 5 calls ! yea !

you see, that you call a guy every 5 times in an hour really isnt the issue, it becomes an issue when the guy dose not call you as much as you call him. lets have two senarios here, if your new man deems it fit to call u evry 5 minutes just to talk to you probably cos you guys just met and love is so much in the air, then there really is no law that says you cant call him ones for every five times he calls you and that might make you call him say 10-20 times a day.

now senario two is this guy dose not call you at all or he calls just ones and then you call me 5o times extras in a day, that will practically drive him very far from you.

calling your steay man,

now when you guys have gone steady and chummy, the guy probably calls you ones a day, there is no rule that says you cant call him maybe two times ? a day. calling up your steady guy that you feel is constant in his love for you is not a problem at all but i advice people to ensure there is a balance in all you find yourselve doing in a relationship. when you meet a new guy that has not even asked you out yet pls DONT call him at all, that is a golden rule, and even when he has asked you out still apply the above rule in your calling him.

Signs to look out for in a man that 'hits'

i decided to put down a few things on this topic cos of the question linda ikeji had on her blog some time last week.

a man that hits a woman needless to say is a weakling and unfortunately there are no much signs to look out for in a man that hits his women.
i am firmly against abusive relationships hence my resolve to look deep into likely signs that woman beaters have but am sorry to say there is almost none to see. a man that hits a woman or have the tendency to hit a woman has just one give away. this kind of men when provoked, they tend to walk away from you almost immediately to avoid beating you, watch them closely you find that at that point in time they look for an object to hit or some one to lash out at. their fists at this time is so tight clenched that they struggle to keep it at their sides and at that moment they either walk away from you for a while or hit an object . my dears, other than these there jolly well are no signs that gives away a man as a violent man.

am going to ask this question and sincere comments or answers to it will be welcomed.

if your man hits you ones or for the first time what should you do?

watch out for the wisest thing to do in my next post.

take kare you all and thanx comrade for your comments.

Monday, November 19, 2007


hullo all,

how was ya weekend? did u have fun ? did anybody try out the game on our last discussion? i mean giving a guy his space.

anyways, a quick one pls. my little friend just met this guy - a perfect guy for her she said, but the only problem seem to be how much should she call him in a day or week?

i tot i should give others the oppurtunity to answer this. so how often do you think a girl can call her new man before she actually becomes a pest?


Friday, November 16, 2007


hello darlyns,
i sure have been away for too long this time, am sincerely sorry. i have actually been away on vacation, for two years that i have been working, never taken a break or any form of leave and now i had to. i didnt have internet facility in my house but am working seriously on putting that in order. how ve u guys been? ur relationships?

actually i have kinda put together a thousand and one post in my head and the one that came top was the POWER OF GRATITUDE. i ve actually put down one or two things on this until this last weekend when i stumbled on this GIVE A MAN HIS SPACE.

how many of u knows that at a point in a relationship a man feels all choked up? no, i dont mean that he dose not love again or anything like that. what i mean is that a man ones in a while feels there is something he his missing for being too long wit his partner ., u know, that he may ve been missing out of fun with his guy frds and all that, so why dont you just let him have this space, go see that there really is nothing new out there while u are giving him space. make him feel single and searching again, miss u and then come back. have u lost me?

ok ! see, men dont and cant appreciate wat they have if they have not gone out to compare notes. every relationship has its peak and lowest periods. girlfriends, do u know that relationships needs space to survive? do u know that the fastest way of showing a man how relevant u are in his life is by walking away abit? i mean staying apart awhile?

am not saying u should cause a fight and then walk away for awhile NOPE!
am saying u should give ur man his space by knowingly and indirectly leaving him to himselve some times, see, try this and come back to tell me how well it worked.

if u are always nagging down his head for his time, or weekends or some dayz in a week u are always telling him it is his duty to be with u, just blank him sweetly, come up wit this thing u just have to do, keep at it for a week or two ( make sure u are keeping though via phone, mail or txt) and then see how renewed ur relationship will be after wards.

i really got to go now,
come back for some more principles of a good relationship

Monday, October 1, 2007

Independence day

today 1st of october, 2007 marks nigeria's 47 years of freedom from their colonial rulers.

lets all give three Gbosa's to Nigeria for their 47th year of freedom. ' Gbosa ! gbosa !! gbosa !!!

its true that nigerians is still very far from what we want it to be, but we should also remember that being appreciative to God for having brought us thus far will go a long way in helping us ( nigerians) attain the height we want our dear and beloved country to be.

The country is messed up." That's like cursing the soil and the seed and the sunshine and the rain, which is all you've got. Don't curse all you've got. When you get your own planet, you can rearrange this whole deal. This one you've got to take like it comes, cos u see, itz not what happens that determines the major part of your future. What happens, happens to us all. It is what you do about what happens that counts. God Bless Nigeria

this brings me to what i ' did like to discuss in my next post, THE POWER OF APPRECIATION.

so watch out for my next post on the power of appreciation. its going to be mind blowing !
miss emotions

Thursday, September 27, 2007

isn't this beautiful?

men and space in relationships

“Space” in a relationship or spacing in relationships is your ability to realize that your partner needs to have a life of his own while the relationship exists and giving him the required freedom to lead that life. Spacing in a relationship is a major challenge more so when you don’t trust your man. I usually advise that you take your time to know your man well enough to trust him, am not ignorant of the fact that these days we simply cannot allow ourselves to trust a man 100%. A level of commitment is however required before you can allow yourself trust a man. you all will agree with me that it makes no sense going through all the hassles of giving a man that is not committed to you emotionally some space or even to assume to have a relationship going for you when there is none. basically, you need to ascertain the existence of a relationship and some level of emotional attachment before thinking of allowing such relationship grow by playing the spacing game once in a while. To give a man space simply means to act unavailable while available, being a bit elusive, giving him the desired or required freedom to either hang out with the ‘boys’ or do what ever he likes from time to time.


No matter how happy both of you are in a relationship a man will still want to keep his identity, he wants to be able to spend quality time with his friends once in a while, he wants to be able to look at and admire an attractive girl with his friends and even make some naughty remarks about her without your being around to caution him, when all these has been done, he will come back to you and appreciate what he has got.
You can even pretend to be unavailable for your routine weekend program or hanging out for once and let him miss you, after all he can’t even miss you when you are always around and this makes him take you for granted sometimes. Well this might not be so in all case, don’t get me wrong, am not saying you should always disappear from your routine activities, all am saying is that once in a while, take you time and act elusive, give him a challenge to keep you, stair the pot sometimes, make him realize that you can actually be seeing someone else if you want to.

How this works for you?

Being complacence in a relationship gives room for boredom and this automatically kills the chemistry between you two. This is what leads most men to either double date or to cheat on their partner out rightly. When a man realizes that you no longer are a challenge in any way, i.e. always hanging around him and seeking attention, it starts to bore him, you become predictably, he feels he can no longer catch fun with his woman, he feels the challenge is no longer there and then he looks elsewhere for the challenge he so desires and these things invariably end a relationship. Giving your man some space actually helps renew the relationship.

Here are some tips on how to go about this.
Pick a weekend, about 2days before the weekend,

make sure you look absolutely fabulous
go see him and say to him ………sorry darlyn, am not able to see you this weekend, reason being………….
tell him how much you love and will miss him
be absolutely in control while pretending to be in a hurry to go do something really urgent
tell him to behave but have fun so he can tell you about it when you get back
while you are “away” act busy, don’t call him but if he calls, let it ring and then pick up when he calls you again and you go “ hello darlyn, sorri I missed the first I was so busy with blah blah blah" , don’t stay too long then hang up.
when you finally are back after the weekend, don’t see him on Monday, Tuesday you can go see him and then you know what next……
end of the game

What you see above is just an act to show to your man that you can actually be busy or have fun or carry on your work without him and still be in control. This is a fresh challenge to him which should keep him on his feet and keep him guessing. While you are away he will imagine you with another man and realize the need to work hard at keeping his pretty damsel.

Hmmmm, that’s it on spacing,

Let me know how this works out for those of you that will be daring enough to try it out.


Wednesday, September 26, 2007

‘Space’ in relationships

What dose it mean to give your man some space from time to time? How will it impact on the relationship? What dose it do to “him” as a man?

Watch out for my next post on men and space in relationships and how it helps the relationship grow.

ms. emotions

Monday, September 24, 2007

He loves me, he loves me not

As a woman you tend to be familiar to this line of question. He loves me? He loves me not? So how can you really know weather he really loves you or not?

The best way to answer this question is by asking instead is this love or infatuation?
Love is a friendship that has “caught” fire overtime while infatuation is an instant fire or an instant desire.
It becomes dangerous to differentiate love and infatuation in the early stage of a relationship, say in the first one to three weeks. This is the stage I like to call the “formation stage”. Needless to say that love its self starts with a strong sexual attraction for the opposite sex – a strong sexual attraction itself can be called infatuation hence the difficulty is discerning what he feels for you within the first to three weeks of starting a relationship.
What I call the formation stage is that period where a man tries to discover what he feels for you or what he wants to do with you. This is the stage where if its love, he starts developing some sorta emotional attachment to you which in no time blossoms into love, while if he is just sexually interested he acts so obvious that it isn’t hard for you to tell that he is infatuated.

After about a month of being in a relationship with a man, you must be able to look out for the signs that tell u what he feels for you, is it love or infatuation? Your inner instinct will tell you. Do u guys remember my last post on emotional fulfillment where I said in your hearts of heart, you are able to tell weather or not you are emotionally fulfilled? Same thing also applies in this instance.

If a man is infatuated, as a lady, you will be able to tell by accessing how he acts when you are together. Is he always looking forward to ending it in intimacy? Always wanting to ‘get it’ from you? Is that all he looks forward to each time you are together, if yes, the guy is only sexually attracted to you which in most cases is termed infatuation. This though is not the end of the world really as most guys find sexual attraction coming on strong to them before love dose. in essence, a guy sexually attracted to you can turn around and feel deep love for you in the long run. But the fear is that he may just remain infatuated and overtime just like the attraction dies a natural death and he takes off.

Love on the other hand takes a root and grows one day at a time, if a guy is in love with you, each time you are together he feel quite relaxed and always is on the look out for fun and exciting activities u can involve yourselves while you are together. He is more interested in things that affects and matters to you and how they affect you. Love they say lights up a man so much so that you really will not have to ask if he loves or loves you not.

Wow!!! I think I have to go back to work hoping that I have been able make some sense in my little write up.

Pls! Pls! Pls! Leave me a comment if by chance you happen to drop by so I can at least know am not the only person that reads my post. lol
Your comments will be welcomed!


Friday, September 21, 2007


Emotional fulfillment is a state of being content with who you perceive yourself to be. It is a feeling of completeness, being content with all that makes you “you”, your failure and success. It is an emotionally induced feeling which deep within your hearts of heart you are able to tell weather or not you feel fulfilled.

Emotional fulfillment comes with you having a sense of achievement, appreciation and the need to be you and do what makes you happy. i.e. you being heard and appreciated, you giving luv and not necessarily looking to receive luv( a lot of us don’t know that giving luv leaves you open to receiving luv), feeling obligated to help others without looking to be thanked for it, ( helping others naturally brings help your way, especially when you do so unconsciously, it kind of makes you fell good).
Emotional fulfillment is never about being in a great relationship, being happily married or being successful No! It has to do with coming to terms with your failures and seeing it as one of those things that makes you human and having the resolve to give it another shot; it is about knowing what your emotional needs are and working towards achieving them.

In my last post, I talked about a beauty personified lady, that’s a true beauty that has got all and everything to offer the world, yet she doesn’t feel emotionally fulfilled likewise a great dude that’s got almost all the good things in life yet he remains unhappy because he knows he doesn’t feel fulfilled emotionally. But how can we truly feel fulfilled when we cannot even identify what our emotional needs are? When we do not know what being fulfilled emotional is?

Emotional needs and how to fulfill them

some of our emotional needs are, getting and giving attention, having a sense of achievement and purpose, the need to be heard and understood, the need to help and be helped, the need to be appreciated and loved( while showing luv to those around us) and the need for security.

Being emotionally fulfilled

You can only be emotionally fulfilled when you begin to accept who you are and know what your emotional needs are. A lot of us think that emotional fulfillment comes with being in luv, this is not true as you can be in luv yet unfulfilled emotionally.
The earlier to understand what our needs are emotionally and begin to work towards achieving them, the sooner we will find that we are emotionally fulfilled after all.

Me, real

Thursday, September 20, 2007

are you emotionally fulfilled?

i actually feel very scared as it is, here i am posting for the very first time on my blog, lol. meanwhile i simply can't remember how long ago i ve been reading other blogs, some days i just sit in my office and read new posts on all my fav blogs.
it didnt occur to me that i will oneday create my own blog. My Own Bog? omg ! so i own one now? funny.
anyways this isnt gonna be about my day to day experiences or personal stuffs, No !
am gonna be doing more of the real emotional stuffs and worries we ladys" and gents out there go thru and how to remain happy and see positive sides of it all. on this blog, am going to be talking about love, hatred, relationships, forgiveness, happiness and then a bit of spiritual stuff, not that am saint myself, but try i will.

ok! i have decided to write on YOU & YOUR Emotions in my first post.
let me warn you though that this will be some kind of anonymous blog with my identity disclosed to a few if need be. you may also leave your comments and questions if any, not that i have quite brought myself to believe that i will have reader at all, lol

You and Your Emotions
have you every been in a situation where you find yourselve wondering if you will ever be emotionally fulfilled? you know, like in your heart of hearts you ask yourselve this question - am i emotionally fulfilled? and then you seem unable to find answer to this question?
lets look at this in this light, you are a young guy or lady who has everything to offer the opposite sex, as a guy you know you ve got it, tall, handsome and sexy looking, wealth, brains, you name it....some people look at you and they go ooooooooooooooohhhhhhh gosh ! you are handsome ! you ve got it all ! yet deep down you know you dont feel fulfilled emotonally
and as lady, you are what they call beauty personified, you v e got that look, those gorgeous legs, pretty face that get heads rolling in your direction, nice job or even nice relationship, yet you are not emotionally happy, you feel you are not fulfilled, you just know there is a wide gap and space that has to be occupied by something or someone?

then watch out for my next post where am going to explain fully what emotional fulfillment is all about and how to achieve emotional fulfillment.

until then, remain happy,

its me,