Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Life everyone keeps saying is too short but I never get to hear how one can make the most out of life.
I was told a story few days ago about how a young woman almost got herself killed by a conductor just because she was fighting for her right, funny how people can go any length to fight for their so called right even at the expense of their life. eye witness where of the opinion that the young woman in question indeed was fighting for her right when the conductor decided to peer her up wit some other passenger for change after paying the bus fare, but the trauma and ‘blows’ she suffered in the hands of this conductor am sure would have been more in comparison to her change, I mean when valued in monetary terms.
This is just one of the scenarios in life where you find people going any length just to establish the fact that they are right, educated, tough, or superior at the expense of their happiness.
Am going to go as usual the route of relationships and marriages, personally I don’t get it, how can we in the bid to prove our superiority forget this life is so short and enjoy it while we have it?
All these bring me to my question ‘how much is too much to pay for happiness?
Really how much is too much to pay for happiness?
Have you ever sat down to worry about how much emphasis we place on some things that are no so material after all?
A lot of married men/women these days find it easier to move out of their matrimonial home than compromise just a little,
A lot of relationships hit the rock these days just because neither of the parties is willing to take little inconvenience,
A lot of families are permanently separated now because no one is willing to come out and say am sorry, lets make peace,
A lot of people these days are perpetually unhappy because of one apology they ought to either have made or accepted in the past,
So what if you choose to be happy and take just a little inconvenience?
Will this make you a lesser person?
Will it really affect who you are now or who you turn out to be in future?
If the genuine answers to these are NO, so why not indulge a little just to be happy?
For us to be all round successful in life, at one point or another, we would find ourselves having to compromise however little, a relationship can not be completely successful if you don’t give or sow into it, sometimes we find that our partners are not exactly what we want them to be, more so when you begin to compare them to others, but is there really perfection anywhere I ask?
Perfection is given birth to by making seem perfect people’s imperfection, you did soon realize that by having compromised a little you are able to get the best out people and before long they begin to appear perfect to you.
The don’ts of compromise
The list is endless, so suffix it is to say, ensure you don’t compromise way to much to box yourself into a permanent corner cos if you do, you would find yourself the only one doing all the compromise, you have to balance this, at first it may not be easy to achieve but with constant ‘work’ on this, you should attain a balance in no time, the key tho is ensure you attain a balance for you both or all of you.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Something similar to this has been going round some of my favorite blogs, oluwadee’s Nigeriandramaqueen’s and a couple of others, so I decided to contribute my 2 cents to this.
There is no point remaining or maintaining contact with an old flame……period!
I mean, what is even the definition of an old flame?
Isn’t suppose to be someone you once felt something for or vice versa?
Once, meaning its history for one or two reasons right?
And its either they broke up with you or did…..right?
If you broke up with them, it only means there were one or two things they either were doing or not doing right or aren’t right for you generally …..Isn’t?
If they did the breaking up, it only means you either are not good enof for them or you weren’t doing something right,
Now its even worst if they cheated and you caught them or you cheated they caught you , either way, you begged they refused which makes sense to me or they begged and you refused which still makes sense to me, so wat now?
Why would you after all these keep contact with them or allow them contact you at will?
To me thats bullshit (excuse my language pls , I really try to watch it) ,
You could not stand them, why not blank them now they are history so as to catch another flame?
The truth of the matter is this,
The longer you maintain contact with them, the longer it takes you to catch another fire or if you have already, you wont seem to appreciate them, you tend to compare, tend to even miscalculate i.e, you almost feel you are cheating on ur spouse, and this may become a major problem,
I tell people this, the moment a relationship collapses, the feelings should die a natural death, otherwise you are left wit a lot of head ache to deal with,
Yes its not easy, but the idea is this, they don’t deserve you, if they did, they would have stayed / kept you or you wouldn’t have broken up with them….vice versa ….loll
Awww, anonymous gal, not too much my dear, not too much at all, you know I luv u all loads, and to you my other frds, prisca, oluwadee, guerreiranigeriana, uzezi,najichic,nija chickito, DL, jinta, james, fantasy, for the love of me, Florida, oh dear ! so many , all of you that come here, those of u that leave comments, those of u that don’t, you guys make me happy and willing to do more,
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
From the biblical perspective, one should not have sex unless they have been joined together as husband and wife as anything outside that amounts to fornication..?
That’s from the bible teaching, but what obtains practically we all know is otherwise,
Couples these days meet and boom! they have sex ,some same day, some after a week or maybe two and most often than not such relationship crumbles even before it sees the light of the day.
Whether to have sex before marriage or not if both partners are thinking of marriage is personal to them, I mean its their decision to make, however how soon they decide to have this sex is what we are discussing here as am not about to preach on abstinence or encourage sex outside marriage.
A lot of people ve different ideas as to when its OK to have sex in a relationship, while some school believe its not really important when you choose to have sex in a relationship another school believes you shouldn’t even have sex at all until you are legally married .
That some relationship when entered into for the wrong reasons crumbles after having sex for a couple of times is no news, so then when is the right time to have sex in a relationship to make it ‘work’?
The truth of the matter is that a relationship that wont last / work cant be made to last /work by having sex either too soon or not having sex at all, however a relationship that is built on sex tends to end quicker than others especially when sex is initiated say the first few days of the relationship. A relationship should be allowed to ‘grow’ without sex as its basic foundation.
Most times sex complicates issues, you did soon realize you both are in the relationship for the wrong reasons and have no choice but to end it,
I smile when I have people approach me with the familiar line…..he used me and dumped me….not that the line itself is funny, just that you only get used when you give room to be used. True, a lot of men these days can embrace abstinence while getting their sexual gratification some other place; one should be wise when going about these things especially when you have marriage on your card otherwise please ignore this post.
Both of you should discuss what suits you, whether to abstain or indulge but I would advise you leave sex out of a relationship until you get to know each other well enof, find your interests in your partner, see if you can deal with their person or their life style, be sure you are convinced that you can handle him or her before introducing sex, sex coulds your judgment most times, that’s why you find some people being in a relationship for say one month and immediately after sex is initiated the relationship comes crashing down,
Please be guided,