Being married really isn’t as scary as some say…..

Every where you go these days, people seem to be singing the same song, saying the same thing, seeing same thing ……..how horrible marriage is , has become, will become or worse.

I really can’t say there aren’t bad marriages out there, but then there also are beautiful marriages out there. If this is the case, why then do we have so much noise on bad marriages?

are these deliberate attempts at scaring the singles away from marriage by those involved in the so called bad marriages?

are those who feel they can no longer tolerate their marriage hence gone the divorce root trying to justify there actions?

are single girls really looking for excuse to remain single and justify being single?

As I type away, I can’t seem to find an answer that quite fit.

There are beautiful marriages out there to which some can attest to quite alright, but why are we not hearing the good song out loud and clear?

Hmmph ! It’s so much headache having to listen too much to these negative songs when we all know that there are some positive songs out there on marriages even here in Nigeria. Ha ha ha, I had to say it that way cos lately, there seem to be a misconception that happily married couples in Nigeria hardly exist as any which is seen, it is either the woman have to be taking so much shit or is just enduring the marriage itself.

Ms. Emotion is back after taking a necessary leave of absence. Am sorry I vanished the way I did, it was not pre meditated I can tell you. A very big congrats to the mommies in the house and the new mommies to be, no need to mention names now rite? So, I believe every body is doing gr8.

… a very good evening to you all.

Regards

Ms. emotions

communication !!!!!!

How free are you with your partner?

How often do you both have a ‘hearth – to – hearth’ ……not necessarily something meaningful?

Do you close up all communication ‘avenue’ unknowingly?

There is a silent question which we ladies scare to ask, some people are ignorant of its existence while some are in denial, hmmmmph!
A lot of us choose not to discuss it while some simply believe it dose not exist,

Some will go extra miles to discuss how they are 110% it won’t happen…….
Some can even swear it has never happened; but the truth of the matter remains….no body bargains for it.

It can be both ways, its not just a man’s thing, women are involved too, while I believe in gender equality, I also am of the school that men can never be women,

Communication, how well you discuss issues with open minds allows you to feel each other out on each other’s opinions, reasons, ideologies and possibility of its occurrence,

With the men, just like my humble self, its better not to give them the slightest hint that we realize these things can actually happen………..

CHEATING, INFIDELITY, etc

So many names have been coined out for it now, some even have some ready made excuses for it, some even have gone as far as promoting it with some stupid scientific backings, while we all should kick against it, let’s not be ignorant of the fact….

It happens …

But with communication and being very watchful you can do something about it, a woman they say, is responsible for keeping a home….her home

A woman claims her husband has been cheating, note ‘has been cheating’ not cheated, on her and has a 5months old son,

All I could ask was….how come you never knew?
He surly must spend some quality time with the other woman?
You never knew? What did you do with the signs? I never saw any she replied, ha! I was flabbergasted!

But a woman should know these little signs ,,,,,,,,was all I could say

cheers

An ailing relationship will always have one or more of the following symptoms

· You have a feeling of continuous frustration about the relationship
· (E.g., your emotional needs are not being met)
· You’re finding more reasons to spend time apart
· You’re being physically abused
· You’re being emotionally abused
· You no longer have strong feelings about your partner but reminisce about the feelings you used to have
· You’ve changed your core values, beliefs and goals to accommodate your partner in hopes that your relationship will no longer be problematic
· You’ve made drastic changes in your appearance hoping your partner will find you more attractive
· You have a growing feeling of emptiness
· You’ve put extreme distance or totally cut off former close relationships you used to have with your other friends and/or family

How to make the final decision...The most pragmatic way is to make a list with two columns. One that lists the positive attributes of your relationship and one that lists the negative. Next, itemize the good and bad parts of your relationship honestly. Sometimes seeing a concrete list where one column is much longer than the other will help you see your situation more objectively hence making it easier to end a relationship that no longer brings you joy and fulfills your needs. Relationships should add to your quality of life—not subtract from it

His friends………how do they relate with you?

How a man presents you to his friends determines how they treat you yeah? No?

Am of the opinion that from the way a man presents you to his friends you will be able to tell how much he loves you and what he is up to.

Men show their love differently, while some of them are very passionate when they love, some just love, though one may be tempted to say it all about luck, but I strongly believe it has to do with YOU.

Now, in the early days of your relationship, what sort of impression / vibes were you giving out to him when it came to love?

Some of us unknown to us portray ourselves as those not capable of reciprocating love or actually receiving and treasuring love in a bid to prove that we are independent. This is usually seen during the early days of a relationship, those periods when you are bent on ‘making him see the need to stick with you’?
Yeah!

Like I explained in one of my previous posts, a man knows exactly what he wants from you the moment he sets his eyes on you, it dose not really matter how hard you try to win him over, he has an impression already when he approached you, however, he also pays attention to some minor details which serve to either encourage him or discourage him completely. In other words, there really is no need giving out the ‘ice queen’ vibe as this goes along way to determine the kind of love your man will have for you or do I say it goes a long way to determine how sensitive your man will be showing his love.

Your first and subsequent meeting with his friends gives away what he really feels for u, cos, whether you like it or not he has ‘presented’ you to his friends long before you met them.

so always be on your guard when u meet with his friends the very first time, are they very respectful and refrain from all forms of male banters? or otherwise? Do they have this sheepish looks on their faces?

Its ur call, you decide what you do next,

Ms. Emotions was unavoidably away due to some private matters I cant disclose here, but its not a problem, just something that needed to take me away for a while, me and mine are well, how have you all been? and yours?
Four the past 13hours I been ‘around’ cant find afrobabe???
Iyawo oluwadee is very well I know, fff has gone what ….well an author…lol, nice work, the rest of my blog fam, am visiting soonest,

Compliments of the season!!!!

DOSE IT MATTER WHEN YOU SAY YES?

Hello people,


Am back again with my controversial (didn’t say so myself oo) topics,
I know am suppose to do the concluding part of ‘ a little push wont hurt’, I just got this hot topic for ‘our’ discussion, please feel free to discuss at full length using the comment corner so we can all trash this out.


So, dose it matter how soon you say yes to a man?

Dose it determine the success of the relationship?

Some people believe that playing ‘hard to get’ like we all did in our secondary school days makes a relationship better or should I say gives it more chances for survival.

But ms. Emotions says it doesn’t matter really how soon you say yes to a man’s ‘toasting’ or ‘wooing’ cos she said YES on the very first day after the very first lunch !!

So wat say you?

Relationship and its success is dependent on a whole lot of factors and how soon you say yes is not one of them so long you are sure he is wat you want and all you want in a man, please be free to differ completely in your opinion.


Enjoy the rest of the week,


Ms. Emotions

A little push won’t hurt ………..

Let me start by apologizing sincerely for my absence, it indeed was due to some ‘stuff’ beyond my control but its ok now, I ve learnt to delegate, so will be doing blog rounds now.

I also would like to state here categorically that Ms. Emotions is just my blog name, the fact that I don’t come out to tell my private affairs doesn’t mean I don’t have any. This blog I started just to put up some excerpts from my book (work – in – progress), and as you all know, its actually difficult writing and completing a book, not just any book, I mean realistic approach to relationship issues, so this blog I see as an avenue to improve on some of the things I ve in there already, especially using some opinion / comments from readers. So you can imagine how pissed off I was when some anon asked a careless question ….’With all these advice, how come you are still single’?

Just to set the records straight, am very much taken, I mean not single at all, in fact my man actually reads this blog and we discuss some issues I raise here at home.

We all blog for different reasons, some blogs are personal diaries, and all, but this one is like my mini book, you know like a column where I can be free, having said that, I think we best move to some better things …..

A little push won’t hurt…….

Do you believe that most men are naturally a bit scared of commitment especially when you try crowding them up and at the same time asking for a long time commitment?

Yes……it’s true or so I believe……please feel free to differ in your opinion

ones you are able to establish that a man truly cares deep enof for you, if he has got all you want in a man, it wont hurt to push him forward a little but you really have to be careful and know how hard to push him if you want commitment.

How do you push a man along the part of commitment without over pushing him?

Hmmm, there really is no hard and fast rule here other than that you need to know the kind of person he is and then maybe do a few of these:

If you have mutual friends that are committed already, once in a while bring up discussion that involves them, you know, how happy they are, how unsure the were before really hooking up, and some fun things they do together.


Please, no man wants you to bottle him up without giving him a sense of freedom especially while trying to get him to commit to you. So give the space he graves.


Commitment to men means they are not able to appreciate other women’s looks, make some (dirty) jokes….wow! ‘See those lovely boobs’…lol, they can’t hang out freely ones in a while with the boys…prove him wrong!


be consistent in your ‘want’ not telling him you want A from him today and then tomorrow its B


we are Africans, fine, majority of us ladies are thoroughly schooled these days but its indeed our culture to be homely and humble without being stupid, you really need to do this as no man wants a woman who will end up being the man in the house while he becomes the woman .

…….to be contd

Cheers

Where you meet counts

So, I was thinking, aloud I guess cos I was muttering to myself, didn’t really realize I was doing that, I had an investor right in front of me, I could not wait for him to leave my office, am excited and do you know why?

Ok, I was discussing with one of my gals, she is single and searching, not those single and not searching thingy that most gals claims, she truly is searching.
She is been single and searching and not searching, only to be searching after a few weeks or a month for a while now.

What the gist was all about?

Please my friend, I was saying to her, calm down, relax your nerves and stop looking in the wrong places, I feel your pain but I have always been of the opinion that where you meet your man\woman to a large extent determines the success or otherwise of that relationship. I guess she has not been listening.

Without meaning to be immodest, I have been opportune to discuss a lot of relationship issues with partners, spouses, and have come to the conclusion that where you meet indeed has a role to play in the success or otherwise of your relationship. And I speak not for the fun of it; in fact, all I write and post on this blog are based on people’s experiences, personal, and what I see happening around.

Let’s take a few practical examples; do you expect sincerely to have a successful relationship with a man or woman that wooed you while in a relationship?

Do you seriously think you did be happy and have a good relationship with a girl you picked up at some unknown or indecent clubs\pubs\strip club?

Do you honestly believe that a man you went after in a ‘very obvious to the eye’ manner will propose to you shortly?

How about a man that sits on your street all day waiting for someone to toast? I mean, do you think when he finally toasts you and you have one or two things then you have him for keeps? He won’t go seeking for another?

These are just a few of practical examples, you don’t suppose you will meet and angel good enough for you on a sex website now do you? Or some dirty chat rooms?

No offence meant to anybody but I tell you this, who people perceive you to be is a function most times of where you are found and what you tend to do atimes.

A man or gal in search of fun meets someone in all these places mentioned above, assumes they are there for what he or she is there for and then kicks some fun without strings attached and you seriously believe something decent will come out of it?

Forget it, it dose not work like that,

I really didn’t mean to come out so angry, but these friends of mine are pissing me off with this ‘no taking correction attitude’ of theirs and they expect to change their status shortly…..i hope she listens this time

Regards,

Ms.emmotions