Wednesday, November 26, 2008

An ailing relationship will always have one or more of the following symptoms

· You have a feeling of continuous frustration about the relationship
· (E.g., your emotional needs are not being met)
· You’re finding more reasons to spend time apart
· You’re being physically abused
· You’re being emotionally abused
· You no longer have strong feelings about your partner but reminisce about the feelings you used to have
· You’ve changed your core values, beliefs and goals to accommodate your partner in hopes that your relationship will no longer be problematic
· You’ve made drastic changes in your appearance hoping your partner will find you more attractive
· You have a growing feeling of emptiness
· You’ve put extreme distance or totally cut off former close relationships you used to have with your other friends and/or family

How to make the final decision...The most pragmatic way is to make a list with two columns. One that lists the positive attributes of your relationship and one that lists the negative. Next, itemize the good and bad parts of your relationship honestly. Sometimes seeing a concrete list where one column is much longer than the other will help you see your situation more objectively hence making it easier to end a relationship that no longer brings you joy and fulfills your needs. Relationships should add to your quality of life—not subtract from it

17 comments:

LG said...

1sttttttt

Aphrodite said...

Eziokwu.
True talk.

I do the pros and cons thing too and yea the truth stares you in the face.

Pink Lips said...

Words of wisdom!!!!

aloted said...

Hmmmmm

makes sense

rethots said...

"...pragmatic...is to make a list..." academically (& well intentionedly) said but, come with me and let's do a little disection.

Irrespective of the length of the list (on the -ve column), the ultimate judge ought to be "...no longer brings you joy and fulfills your needs."

Even at that, this love (relationship) thingy is pretty funny.

Love (wrt emotions) is IRRATIONAL. On the long run, instincts i daresay......

Ms. emmotions said...

@ LG - congrats ...lol
@aphrodite - how u dey gal ?
@pink lips - compliments dearie
@aloted - hmmmm...thanx , lol
@rethots- u are buuuurilliant !!!! lol

naijalines said...

Ms Emotions, howdy?
True talk as usual.

@ Rethots
Hmmm, I find myself agreeing with you on this one.

doll said...

hmm

QMoney said...

Hmmmm like doll and evrthing u said + am feelin rethots as well

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

true talk be dat

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

true
sometimes we ie to ourselves that someone still brings us joy when they no longer do
that they make us happy when all thats making us happy is the memories
sometimes it takes the truth staring us in the face in the form of two distinct columns one long one short for us to accept reality

Funms-the rebirth said...

ur always right with ur post.......

JJ said...

I found myself in a few of the situations you described here and it is by His grace that i got through it. Because it took sooo much from me.
My reasoning for getting out eventually was that, a relationship really should add value to your life and not subtract. Also, whatever does not give you peace...you realy should not dabble in.

gbengasile said...

Ain't nothing truer. Happiness is what truly counts in any relationship and once this major factor doesn't exist anymore, then it's certainly time to get out. Yeah, memories could help but then memories are simply memories and cannot feel like reality. Even once out, memories could still be relived but at least it would be done outside that prison of sadness.

Rita said...

Chai... I really missed your write ups...Rita, me and you need to talk oh...

Afrobabe said...

Word...true talk...and sometimes it takes a good friend to make you see...and move on..

Uzezi said...

right words u used. truth. unfortunately we see some of these things, experience the feelings that warm us, we tend to stay. why? afriad of being alone.