Thursday, December 11, 2008

communication !!!!!!

How free are you with your partner?

How often do you both have a ‘hearth – to – hearth’ ……not necessarily something meaningful?

Do you close up all communication ‘avenue’ unknowingly?

There is a silent question which we ladies scare to ask, some people are ignorant of its existence while some are in denial, hmmmmph!
A lot of us choose not to discuss it while some simply believe it dose not exist,

Some will go extra miles to discuss how they are 110% it won’t happen…….
Some can even swear it has never happened; but the truth of the matter remains….no body bargains for it.

It can be both ways, its not just a man’s thing, women are involved too, while I believe in gender equality, I also am of the school that men can never be women,

Communication, how well you discuss issues with open minds allows you to feel each other out on each other’s opinions, reasons, ideologies and possibility of its occurrence,

With the men, just like my humble self, its better not to give them the slightest hint that we realize these things can actually happen………..


So many names have been coined out for it now, some even have some ready made excuses for it, some even have gone as far as promoting it with some stupid scientific backings, while we all should kick against it, let’s not be ignorant of the fact….

It happens …

But with communication and being very watchful you can do something about it, a woman they say, is responsible for keeping a home….her home

A woman claims her husband has been cheating, note ‘has been cheating’ not cheated, on her and has a 5months old son,

All I could ask was….how come you never knew?
He surly must spend some quality time with the other woman?
You never knew? What did you do with the signs? I never saw any she replied, ha! I was flabbergasted!

But a woman should know these little signs ,,,,,,,,was all I could say



doll said...


doll said...

sometimes we see the signs and we know but ddeliberately turn a blind eye...

Laughter said...

Sometimes we don't see the sign too. It destroys a lot of things, confidence and morale. God help us and sometimes we see the sign and think that it is normal. God forbid.

Funms-the rebirth said...

communication is one of the key strengths i make sure i work on in any relationship.....
most people think if they dont talk about the elephant in the room, it will go away...... speak out people!

aloted said...

u r right we need to speak up

QMoney said...

Well,u are right but i have heard of stories where the man played his game very very well
Imagine a man dat goes for lots and lots of business meetings,u escort him to the airport wen he's actually flying nowhere,he buys tickets only to turn around and change his dates or he only goes to the airport with a reference code that doesnt even exist,
my sister,wen one trusts a lot,u dont question a number of things and it might get dangerous

Rita said...

I have once heard of an experience like QMoney mentioned. The woman helped her husband pack his bags, escorted him to airport for his "job" and after she was gone, the man took taxi and went to a hotel in the same town.

While women should see the signs, I think it makes them worry alot when they have to start bothering about some certain signs.

Having said that, communication is key in any relationship. It might just be a factor that will prevent/curtail the man from going to look for company elsewhere.

NigerianDramaQueen said...

As always, you hit the nail square on the head. Communication is so so important in every kind of relationship-from platonic to romantic. Your right-there are some signs a woman simply should not miss...
Great informative post.
How are you?
Take care,

Afrobabe said...

hmmm I really dont know if a heart to heart has any effect on a man who is bound to cheat.

Take my pa for example...Pa is the ideal married man, came home everyday from work at 6...took us to the beach or a fastfood joint most weekends and was only away from home on company business trips...but my Pa managed to have a

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

I disagree with your point that its a womans job to keep her home (when it comes to cheating)
I think thats the wrong attitude coz each and every person is responsible for thier own behaviour in a relationship. If a man cheats he is responsible for his cheating, like wise if a woman cheats. Dont think policing anybody helps at all, it might help in making him more careful about how he cheats thats all. If someone wants to cheat they will cheat communication or no communication.

Ms. emmotions said...

mis def- hey lady, howdy?
well, if kida agreee with u from the angle u are coming from, surly a woman cant be made to take responsiblity for when a man cheats, i only implied that a woman has a role to play in makin her home a happy one

afro- madam , hmmm, ur papa comes home at six and dose wat every good pa shuld do, how about official trips? was he always goin on those trips from inception or ws it along the line? believe afro there must hav been some slacks somewhere......
- nigeriadramerqueen- thanx dear, am fine o, so how u dey?

- rita- we are to be have it at the bac of our minds....not neccessarily dwellin on them, hello rita

- qmoney- ehen ! those business meetins believe me werent always there rite? he initiated them,....the signs qmoney

aloted- hello, howdy

funms- thanx, howdy?

laugheter - true....., howdy ?

doll- how body?

LG said...

Hellooooooooooo' anybodi home?????
i ve got sum hampers 4 u :)
*merry christmas dear

Anonymous said...

Every infidelity starts with a listening heart to a communicating soul.

No, 'tis not necessarily the bad guys that cheat; 'tis actually the good guys whose mates have taken communication for granted. And then, some other lady is willing not just to communicate to him but more importantly also listen to his seeming rantings.

'Yar Mama said...

Happy New Year.

Dabizniz said...

Not to bust any bubble here but what of when the woman cheats? Do the same rules apply.

I discovered my wife of 5 years is cheating on me...feel free to comment on my blog..

Geebee said...

I totally agree with you. Communication is highly essential in a relationship. In fact that's the only thing close to trust or love that could keep a relationship. It is best for both partners to do all they could to ensure that the chain of communication is never broken. When this exists, there would be hardly a reason for suspicion or cheating since both partners would know each other so well.