Hello people,
Am back again with my controversial (didn’t say so myself oo) topics,
I know am suppose to do the concluding part of ‘ a little push wont hurt’, I just got this hot topic for ‘our’ discussion, please feel free to discuss at full length using the comment corner so we can all trash this out.
So, dose it matter how soon you say yes to a man?
Dose it determine the success of the relationship?
Some people believe that playing ‘hard to get’ like we all did in our secondary school days makes a relationship better or should I say gives it more chances for survival.
But ms. Emotions says it doesn’t matter really how soon you say yes to a man’s ‘toasting’ or ‘wooing’ cos she said YES on the very first day after the very first lunch !!
So wat say you?
Relationship and its success is dependent on a whole lot of factors and how soon you say yes is not one of them so long you are sure he is wat you want and all you want in a man, please be free to differ completely in your opinion.
Enjoy the rest of the week,
Ms. Emotions
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42 comments:
FIRST!!
Well doesnt matter as long as ure sure of what u want
Times are changing, or should i say have changed. as Sha put it, if u know what u want, y play hard to get? I agree with saying yes as soon as u know u want to be in a rship with the guy. gone r the days of i'd give u an answer next week or waiting for him to ask u out more than once
It really doesnt matter how soon a babe says yes to a guy.
Sometimes, there is usually no proposal sef, except the marriage proposal. The relationship just progresses from friendship to something serious.
I kinda like it that way.
3rd!!!! I used to be a fan of play hard to get, but now that am a lil older, I’l say go for it if u’v decided its what you want. But if u are not sure take ur time to knw d person, be friends, den “go out” if that’s d way forward
I dont think it matters. Frankly, if you're interested in a guy, then what will delaying for a month prove???
If I was a guy, I'd just think you were being unnecessarily difficult. I know there are some unserious guys out there that say they love the thrill of the chase. But such people are obviously not looking for a proper relationship anyway.
Just my 2 cents.
my dear, i've always sucked @ playing hard 2 get - yes o, even @ secondary school but den dat was easy cos i ddnt have toasters till i entered uni (imagine!)
if i like a guy, i like a guy. few times it's ever had anything 2 do with wot he said or wot he did. some pple's spirit just connects with mine wit d very onset & i let it flow. as every one of dos on-d-spot 'yeses' worked 4 me? no! but am very glad d last one did!!!!!
I totally 2nf FFF on being bad @ playing hard to get. I just never felt the need.
If i play hard to get, it probably means that my spirit did not connect with his and probably never will.
If i happen to like somebody and he shows interest as well, that's all i need, really.
I don't think playing hard to get & still falling eventually earns you any brownie points.
LOL...Again, I'm not alone. If I like, I like...Usually I know within a short time if its a good idea or not. The issue is whether I'll listen to the inner voice.
YES to what?
When I was much younger, I did not bother playing hard to get. If I like you, I like you, and I was ready to take the risks.
But getting older, I already knew what I wanted in a man and the things I did not want. I don't think I would be able to tell these things on a first date. I'd rather take my time and get it right than say yes if I was not sure...
Amazings thots, yet still.........not found her who said yes after the '2nd' lunch, only except yea is now said by 'action'and not necessarily words.
Me thinks it depends on the man...that is why you have to get to know him and know how he thinks...some men live for the chase, if the chase ends too soon they feel it wasn't worth it...
while some men feel chasing too long means she didnt actually want to agree but did so out of choice...
my answer...study the man...
I don't like playing all those games. I believe in saying yes as soon as i know i mean it, but some men actually thrive on playing those games. If u say yes too early then they take you for granted cos u were too easy. Then again, this is a generalisation so the answer to that lies in who u r dealing with at the time.
with the right man, yes, it doesn't matter when you say 'yes'. However, sometimes you have to go through some frogs to get to your prince, so if you say 'yes' too early to a frog, you could end up with a frog who thinks that because you said yes, you can fall into a certain category.
Ultimately its a delicate dance. Just stay away from the frogs. loL!
@everyone -
lets look at it from this angle....
the earlier you say yes the sooner you discover if he is truly worth it or not?
isnt yes a ' lets give it a shot ?
is not as if you are sayin yes to make it work as a do or die besides while some men like they chase others just see it as bein necessary.....
a man that luvs the chase even if given 6months of a run wat happens when u say yes and there is no longer a chase? he moves on?
i think when people are younger they tend to put a guy "in is coming" but the older most people get the more they know wat they want so playing games isn't part of the equation...
I think if both parties are serious and know wat they want they should not play games. And it goes the other way if you are not interested let the guy know ASAP instead of making him hang around unneccesarily.
sometimes it does. i mean, if you've been friends/have known each other for a while and you say yes even before he's finished asking then it doesn't matter. however most 'prompt' Yes's are said on impulse, without giving thought to what it entails.
sometimes tho, even without thought there are relationships that work out. but it's rare.
What exactly would one be saying yes to? A relationship? sex ? coz the two arent always synonymous. I would never say yes to a relationship on the very first date not coz I like playing hard to get but because I like to know where meat came from before I decide to pick it from the menu. |But if its just saying yes to (lets get to know one another) then I would say yes to that if i felt that i wanted to 'get to know the guy' whether in a sexual way or in a 'is this going to go any further kinda way.
Nowadays the lines between sussing a guy out and the first official date are blurred. So you might already be having contact with this guy either thru church work or uni and already fancy him so you would probably already know by the first date whether you want to be in a relationship or not. its harder if this is a guy you dont really know i.e off facebook or a blind date etc.
Having said that with most relationships there is never a defining time where the yes no question arises. You just find yourself crossing the line from friendship/a guy pursuing a girl into a relationship without even being fully aware of it. having said that that is probably the worst type of relationship forming coz later when the guy has cheated on you or something (not that all guys cheat) he will turn around and say but we were not in a relationship, i never asked you out blah blah blah...sorry for rabbling im bored.
dont think there's any point in playing hard to get..as long as the people involved know each other to some extent..
But there are some people you meet for the first time... and it does feel like you've known each other for years. I think there are no standards as regards when (or how) one should say yes. Just study the other person.
hey girl! how have u been?
ok, u mean yes to sex? or relationship? or both?
it doesnt matter, really (assuming the guy is a level-headed person)
for me, i said yes in the "heat of the moment". he actually stopped to ask for my hand in relationship! got engaged 4mths ltr, married 6 mths after that. it was quick! lol.
BUT 3 years & 1.5 kids later, we have happily never looked back.
lol..glad u sorted ur Id out...I KNOW UR NAME now...lol
Hello Ms. Emotions....in my opinion...dont think it matter when u say yes..cos truthfully before the date sef...you had really concluded what ur answer is.Gone are the days...playing hard to get is a waste of time...it never determines the quality of a person...whether he's a jerk or a good guy....
so yes on the first date or not, i would say the first date.
I once met a crazy German girl who said she didnt understand women. whether it is the frst date or the last date, the bottom lime is that it was done.
it dont matter when u say yes
what matters is what binds u
my take is THAT....WE TALKING RELATIONSHIP NOW...NOT SEX SO ME I DONT UNDERSTAND ALL THE is it sex or relationship....do the yes to relationship first...i mean wde talking serios relationship here ...if u wana shag only....no decision to make na....just shag/...but if its relationship....i guess its wen ur sure u are feeling the person...that u say yes or consent...if not and that might tke u a while to even figure out urself.....the n u should not say it immediately......all in all im saying...we're older now so no need to be playing games......say yes wen u mean yes and no wen u mean no...
I don't feel it does oh.
I always say to Rabbi, if I knew I was going to marry him, I would have said yes to him the day we met.
I dont think it matters either...all that longness in secondary school is soo outdated
Well, i am a sucker for waiting for some time cos of d rate i have crushes.the least i can do is wait for sometime to pass so am still sure i like him at least.
"a man that luvs the chase even if given 6months of a run wat happens when u say yes and there is no longer a chase? he moves on?"
Interesting point, however, I know of no man who does not to some extent enjoy the chase. Now, some women will play hard to get, but they should judge each situation differently. They may not need to make a guy chase for months on end. If you don't like the guy, let him be. And, if he's going to move on after the chase, then so be it, she should do so as well, right?
Anyway, please update
well i'm no expert on this issue, my story is this - i met my man on the 17th of Nov 07, i'm not sure how it happened but 2wks later i was in a serious relationship and we are still 2gether to date. We have our drama (u need to see my current post) but i think we r ok. So it doesn't really matter if u play hard to get or apply unneccessary rules.
The way, when or reason for you to say yes depends on the nature and type of man in question.
And also what u're saying yes to is another issue
...saying 'yes' (much) later does not (necessarily) make her better liked. He must have liked (her) before asking.
In essence, the later the 'yes' changes not his (first) opinion about her (which in most cases is what eventually matters). So, the duration of the 'yes' is a function of what she wants to know.
The 'yes' sometimes comes just a lil late though.
Hail.....
RE: Sorry, that post is not "loaded."
... thanks, I'm better.
How are you doing?
I didn't even come close to playing hard to get, I practically pursued him myself and he said yes the very first day!!!!!!!!! Well a few months down the line he asked me to marry him... :D
Point is, it doesn't matter who does what or when what matters is why.
Every1's ans is d same so I have to differ........it matters "when" u say yes......I have no reasonable reasn to back it up considering d fact d@ I always say yes immediately, d difference is I'm d desperate 1, so if ur as desperate as I am, then go ahead n say yes as soon as ur asked.
Sweerie how've u been?
hallos! been a while..just checking up on u...
knock knock'
anybodi home?????
*hope u r ok
Ms.Emotions where r u? Update! I miss you!!
when a woman says 'yes' immediately, i take her very seriously cos it means she knows what she wants.
it also sends warning signals to my head that if she doesn't want to mess me about, in turn, she doesn't want to be messed about
I think that issue is highly subjective, but personally I've said several times to all who care to listen...I HATE long chases and the whole "say no when you mean yes" thing that women are usually on about.
It just makes no sense to me and personally I have a policy of walking away when I find that I'm dealing with someone like that. I mean what's wrong with, I like you you like me - I tell you I like you, you tell me you like me - we get the preliminaries over with and move on with our lives. Wouldn't that make life so much easier?
Nice blog though.tehehe
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