Thursday, September 27, 2007

men and space in relationships

“Space” in a relationship or spacing in relationships is your ability to realize that your partner needs to have a life of his own while the relationship exists and giving him the required freedom to lead that life. Spacing in a relationship is a major challenge more so when you don’t trust your man. I usually advise that you take your time to know your man well enough to trust him, am not ignorant of the fact that these days we simply cannot allow ourselves to trust a man 100%. A level of commitment is however required before you can allow yourself trust a man. you all will agree with me that it makes no sense going through all the hassles of giving a man that is not committed to you emotionally some space or even to assume to have a relationship going for you when there is none. basically, you need to ascertain the existence of a relationship and some level of emotional attachment before thinking of allowing such relationship grow by playing the spacing game once in a while. To give a man space simply means to act unavailable while available, being a bit elusive, giving him the desired or required freedom to either hang out with the ‘boys’ or do what ever he likes from time to time.

Why?

No matter how happy both of you are in a relationship a man will still want to keep his identity, he wants to be able to spend quality time with his friends once in a while, he wants to be able to look at and admire an attractive girl with his friends and even make some naughty remarks about her without your being around to caution him, when all these has been done, he will come back to you and appreciate what he has got.
You can even pretend to be unavailable for your routine weekend program or hanging out for once and let him miss you, after all he can’t even miss you when you are always around and this makes him take you for granted sometimes. Well this might not be so in all case, don’t get me wrong, am not saying you should always disappear from your routine activities, all am saying is that once in a while, take you time and act elusive, give him a challenge to keep you, stair the pot sometimes, make him realize that you can actually be seeing someone else if you want to.

How this works for you?

Being complacence in a relationship gives room for boredom and this automatically kills the chemistry between you two. This is what leads most men to either double date or to cheat on their partner out rightly. When a man realizes that you no longer are a challenge in any way, i.e. always hanging around him and seeking attention, it starts to bore him, you become predictably, he feels he can no longer catch fun with his woman, he feels the challenge is no longer there and then he looks elsewhere for the challenge he so desires and these things invariably end a relationship. Giving your man some space actually helps renew the relationship.

Here are some tips on how to go about this.
Pick a weekend, about 2days before the weekend,

make sure you look absolutely fabulous
go see him and say to him ………sorry darlyn, am not able to see you this weekend, reason being………….
tell him how much you love and will miss him
be absolutely in control while pretending to be in a hurry to go do something really urgent
tell him to behave but have fun so he can tell you about it when you get back
while you are “away” act busy, don’t call him but if he calls, let it ring and then pick up when he calls you again and you go “ hello darlyn, sorri I missed the first I was so busy with blah blah blah" , don’t stay too long then hang up.
when you finally are back after the weekend, don’t see him on Monday, Tuesday you can go see him and then you know what next……
end of the game

What you see above is just an act to show to your man that you can actually be busy or have fun or carry on your work without him and still be in control. This is a fresh challenge to him which should keep him on his feet and keep him guessing. While you are away he will imagine you with another man and realize the need to work hard at keeping his pretty damsel.

Hmmmm, that’s it on spacing,

Let me know how this works out for those of you that will be daring enough to try it out.

Ciao

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great read!

Anonymous said...

This is so true. i actually did try it and it worked!

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Anonymous said...

thanks really helps im in a real ruff rite now.

Anonymous said...

lol love it! This actually had me in bits reading it. Fantastic