well i guess i have to be diplomatic in answering this question since its a very sensitive one. at this point i must say that my answer to this question naturally isnt the only answer or the only approach to either ensure that your man dose not raise his hands against you 'ever' again or he dose so only when he is soooooooooo pushed to back up against the wall that he can't but hit you which to me is a call to end the relationship or if you wish to go ahead is your own personal cup of tea.
now back to business, when your man hits you for the very first time in your relationship for whatever reasons ' punish him' and ensure you do so real good.
below are the 5 basic things to do in steps when he hits you for the first time in your relationship.
1. the moment he commits the 'blunder' act very very suprised which naturally you should be, it will be nice to say something like 'waattttttt' give him a very depreciating dirty look while maintaining eye contact and then walk out on him fast without saying one word and dont even let him touch you or talk you from leaving his presence at that point.
2. remain incommunicado for about 3 or 4 days, would be nice if you can bring yourself to remain so for at least a week. during this time, DO NOT TAKE HIS CALLS, don't discuss it with any of his or your mutual frds even if he has asked them to do so.
3. you can now take his call for the first time since the 'blunder', watever you do, dont discuss it over the phone, agree to meet any where other than his or your home. when you do meet, let him start off, listen to his appologies and excuses for raising his hands on you, remain silient but maintain eye contact with him. when he has finished, tell him it all happened in rush and you really are trying to come to terms with the fact that he could actually raise his hands on you. tell him you need some time to think through wether its worth continuing the relationship or not after which you take your leave, HE MUST NOT DROP YOU OFF.
4. now, all these hard times are for him to realize that you are not cut out for abusive relationship and to make him understand that if he keeps at it,you will not hesitate to end the the relationship ( well, you may not even have the liver to do so, but it aint a bad idea to give him that impression o). take at least two days to punish him some more, dont take his calls, avoid his or your usual hang outs but if you must hang out, go with another man.
5. now, call him and invite him over, accept his appologises and you knnoooww, make up the usual way ( winks) make sure you talk over this, tell me what you feel about him raising his hands on you and tell it was really hard for you to come to terms with and that it was a fatal mistake that you know he wont ever make again.
well thats it, dont ever take the issue of your man battering you lightly as it may become a nasty routine.
if you have any comments or other ideas on how to do this better, pls pls pls leave me a comment.
cheers, its a woman's world.
me, ms. emotions