So, I was thinking, aloud I guess cos I was muttering to myself, didn’t really realize I was doing that, I had an investor right in front of me, I could not wait for him to leave my office, am excited and do you know why?
Ok, I was discussing with one of my gals, she is single and searching, not those single and not searching thingy that most gals claims, she truly is searching.
She is been single and searching and not searching, only to be searching after a few weeks or a month for a while now.
What the gist was all about?
Please my friend, I was saying to her, calm down, relax your nerves and stop looking in the wrong places, I feel your pain but I have always been of the opinion that where you meet your man\woman to a large extent determines the success or otherwise of that relationship. I guess she has not been listening.
Without meaning to be immodest, I have been opportune to discuss a lot of relationship issues with partners, spouses, and have come to the conclusion that where you meet indeed has a role to play in the success or otherwise of your relationship. And I speak not for the fun of it; in fact, all I write and post on this blog are based on people’s experiences, personal, and what I see happening around.
Let’s take a few practical examples; do you expect sincerely to have a successful relationship with a man or woman that wooed you while in a relationship?
Do you seriously think you did be happy and have a good relationship with a girl you picked up at some unknown or indecent clubs\pubs\strip club?
Do you honestly believe that a man you went after in a ‘very obvious to the eye’ manner will propose to you shortly?
How about a man that sits on your street all day waiting for someone to toast? I mean, do you think when he finally toasts you and you have one or two things then you have him for keeps? He won’t go seeking for another?
These are just a few of practical examples, you don’t suppose you will meet and angel good enough for you on a sex website now do you? Or some dirty chat rooms?
No offence meant to anybody but I tell you this, who people perceive you to be is a function most times of where you are found and what you tend to do atimes.
A man or gal in search of fun meets someone in all these places mentioned above, assumes they are there for what he or she is there for and then kicks some fun without strings attached and you seriously believe something decent will come out of it?
Forget it, it dose not work like that,
I really didn’t mean to come out so angry, but these friends of mine are pissing me off with this ‘no taking correction attitude’ of theirs and they expect to change their status shortly…..i hope she listens this time
Regards,
Ms.emmotions
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54 comments:
WORD!
You make perfect sense, as usual. Just the other day too I was telling a male friend of mine who was lamenting about the fact that his other friends pick up chicks when they go clubbing. I was like, I assure you, you are NOT going to find a tangible relationship in a club, dude, so let them be!
And don't get me started on the spirit of desperation in some people. It gets so bad, that ANY guy that gives them attention is considered a potential Mr Right.
People need to chill. To date is not by force.
This is true talk, but there's a sort of rationale that some of these people who are trying to find true love in a club are thinking. I know this because I have thought and sometimes still think it.
My best friend (a non-Naija sha) actually met her husband in 2001 in a dance club, and even before she did, I kept saying to my parents (who would say "What kind of girl goes to a dance club?") that if good girls like my friends and I go to dance clubs, why can't good guys also frequent these clubs?
I do understand that the chances of meeting a quality guy at a club or any of those places you listed are slim, but there is always that tiny chance it could happen.
Anyways, I agree with your post and of the places you've mentioned, the club is the only one that I would say can't be ruled out 100%, maybe 98% ;)
@onydchic- peep really need to chill dear, so how are u doing hmm?
@goodnaijagirl- so true, i dear say these plays cant be ruled out completely, but then miracle happens....
howdy?
Hmmmm,i wish i could send ur blog to everyone on my mailing list so they can learn from it but then they might fish me out and i dont want dat.
please accept dis as a request to copy and paste dis post and send to some pips.
i jus dont get it,u meet a guy in d club and u are thinking marriage already?4 cryin out loud,d guy's wife and kids are in yanky and he jus came to hang out................gals can be so blind atimes!!!it is well all d same
That makes a lot of sense...
well said
i think the sad thing is that most people don't see these PRACTICAL STEPS as practical
they really think that the places they are searching are okay and will yield results
I disagree, where you meet doesn't really have anything to do with things in the long run cos when you get to spend a lot of time together you get to know the real person.
I would have said maybe its an american or uk thing but then I have a friend, a former MTN big girl who is married to a man she met online, they joke and laugh about the weirdos they met there all the time..
Its time and chance, she could be a good girl needed something naughty, he could be a well respected guy needing to loosen up..
On the other hand you can meet a retired prostitute at church!!!
Think about it...
wow!!we have 5 contestants left on blogville idol!!!pls go to our page listen to them ond current post and then cast your vote..and dont forget to drop us a kind comment!!!
I tend to incline to afrobabe's comment o
I know a couple who met at a night club. The guy asked her cousin about her and showed up at her doorstep the next day.
According to him, he knew she wasnt a bad girl just a good girl looking for fun and he loved the way she comported herself throughout.
My take is this. People are addressed the way they dress and act not where they are.
a man will definitely not take u serious as a girl if you dress and act like a tramp.
According to my mum, if ur goods are not for sale, dont advertise them,lol...
I stand to be corrected tho...
Nice weekend dearie.
@emotions...been a while on ya blog. Where you meet counts or doesn't count? Love happens in a second and can be forever. I know couples who have met in the club and are still happy. Some meet at the bar and still happy. Some at the church and have problems. That's not the criteria for love. Love can be underestimated.
hmmmm true, but then again....i dont think all girls or guys in a club should be written off...i think their composure in the club can tell the kind of person they are.....not the champagne popping guys or the booty popping girls
U r so right.
i am with afrobabe on this.......
afro, makes sense
i kno a 'p' dat goes to church,
u need to see her in her 'mary amaka' dress , u wont believe wat she does 4 a living
rename "it's what you do when you meet that counts". think the club one is a bit off, but def agree with wooing when in a relationship... even though there are exceptions to every rule. it's simply right when it is right...
love the rant though! :)
u r so right, babes!
d risk in one hoping to meet one's future spouse n a club is dat his first impression of u will b dat of a 'ho'. unless, something n u makes him decide 2 take a second closer look like aphrodite's friend's case. but den, y risk it? esp when there r other means of meeting mr. right.
if one meets their spouse by chance n this place; lets say she went 2 have fun & he also went 2 have fun & somehow sparks flew n d process, great! but 2 say dat someone actively seeking 4 a spouse goes 2 clubs 4 dat, daz is complete MADNESS!
where couples meet matters, but it's not d only deciding factor! dez nothing with a P going to church, lg. sorry 2 say this, but daz a judgmental statement. obviously, she can't wear her 'work' clothes 2 church, so 'Mary-Amaka' it is. a P deserves 2 hear d word of God, & 2 marry just like everyone else.
We are down to d final two on blogville idol!!pls head over to d page and listen to ABBie & Dammy battle it out!!!pls listen to them and vote..we also have some guest bloggers singing!!u wanna know who they are??why dont u run to d idol page now!!and pls dont forget to leave us a kind comment!!
hmmm each to his own but i knw ppl who met their partners in a club and they actually got married and have a good relationship. a friend also told me her parents met in a club twenty-something years ago and they are still together. ppl are different, wot works for a might not necessarily work for b, and just because u met ur partner at a church doesnt mean yall will be together forever. So i dnt necesarily agree with this club thingy.. Dont get me wrong, i do agree to a certain extent that where u meet ur partner matters, but doesnt exactly apply to every one/situation.
Personally, I dont even think a woman should be the one doing the active searching. Men can smell desperation a mile away. I believe in staying open to possibilities, but I dont want to be the one looking...
I do belive that the manner and context within which you meet your other is significant. Most men that go to the club are just looking for some booty-but alot of men in church are looking for the same. I ahve heard good and bad stories from both sides...I think it just depends sha...
It is rather interesting that the same people we meet in the club and look down on are people we would hold regards for had we met at work. But what I thinik ultimately about meeting someone in a cluib and say in a different space/time meeting the person at a concert is: the secone is more general and speaks to a passion/desire/personality. The other is just someone thriving in an environment they no nothing about.
the ever practical miss emmotions..a agree tho...but sometimes 2 plus 2 doesnt add up to 4
true talk...
Hmmmm...nice topic o
I thinks its not about where you meet a person but what you se eteh person do.
Good girls go to club too but they do not follow customer home,lol!
Rite on track. the desperation out there is mega alarmin. sadly it favours the dudes as its the easist way to get in the sack
if you give yourself up too easy you are not going to be valued
thats all there is to it
No, it does not work like that. Its good to take ones time to find out a lot of things and getting to know a person before committing
with all this "advice", why are u still single? just asking. no hurt intended
sometimes not searching is the best sort of searching.
you know what, i am truly sick to the back teeth of coming across these stupid anonymous commentators and their nasty comments. why do people do that? it reeks of evil when they feel the need to hide in their darkness.
you've got something to say, come out and say it and use your blog name. people will respect you for it.
hey madam update..
annon she is single out of choice and out of the fact that when you know all the things to look out for you end up being cautious...
@anon - just for records, without bein immodest ...am highly taken, not available at all, Ms.emotion is just a blog name, caption, i dont know if u get it..
afro - thanx dear, update soon
@jinta - thanx tooo, but i think one shuld just ignore the anons, u no respond to their enquiries with all simplicity and make them read and digest like the idiotic anon they are...
i ve tot of changin the ms.thing but then , it didnt seem relevant and since this is just some place to put a few things until am able to put a book together,
i think i shuld read them comments often and not wait till am postin an update to do ,,,,,,
Honestly, meeting in club is crazy, but bad boys have got tips. They will go to church, in an attempt to win good girls.
Thanks for sharing.
I like you jare!!!
Goodness, it never even occurred to me to make a point of these facts when talking to friends in the same situation.
This is deep, infact ur own head seems to be more correct than that of ur friends that fail to listen. The only thing that will end up teaching them a lesson is a bad experience...what a pity.
Hi! I'm half and half on this one, although I see your point. One half thinks that in a perfect world this is spot on but the truth is some people meet in the most peculiar ways but still go on to have long term relationships (in another r'ship at the time, long distance etc). What worked for one may not work for another.
I love the advice you are giving here. Someone out there definitely will be better off for it. Rock on! K
@Afrobabe...a retired prostitute is still a human being. there are many of them who fare better that non-prostitutes
You dont know the history of the MTN big girl's relationship, you weren't there when it happened.
And dont forget that many meet there, marry and still divorce at the end of the day
update now
Where you meet someone should not be the deciding factor.
I go clubbing and I have many good friends that also go clubbing.
at the same time, everybody knows that when ALL the bad boys/players/NFAs want to settle down, they start going to church. so if you meet one of them in church, you'll say you've seen fine boy abi?
the thing is guys can smell desperation a mile and half away, not searching sometimes is the best way to search.
I'm not one to encourage any person to limit themselves o where they will meet people. But, in some cases, one just has to be realistic. I hear that people have great success meeting their partners online but there are limits to everything, you know. Anyway, how are things with you, my sista?
Babes where are you?
Come back.
Update.
Now.
Because I said so!
girl, i agree with you, to a very large extent. where u meet partner says a lot to what happens to ur rel.
but then, afrobabe makes a whole lotta sense, these days churches and "safe zones" (where be dat sef) harbour devils, i mean, satan's blood siblings!
ntwayz, i hereby order u in the name of BLOGOBA (god of blogging abi?) to post some more! rite now!
girl, i agree with you, to a very large extent. where u meet partner says a lot to what happens to ur rel.
but then, afrobabe makes a whole lotta sense, these days churches and "safe zones" (where be dat sef) harbour devils, i mean, satan's blood siblings!
ntwayz, i hereby order u in the name of BLOGOBA (god of blogging abi?) to post some more! rite now!
...how far?!...it's been such a long time o!!!!...i've missed reading you...anyway...i think i agree with afrobabe's first comment where she disagreed that place is not always that relevant...some of your points are salient...but others aren't so concrete...but that happens with anything abi?...exceptions to rules...just like they say never have sex on the first date otherwise that will be it...then you hear couples who have married after having sex on the first date...to each their own...
well said
i guess they will have to learn with experience if they refuse to learn from the experience of others.
I haven't been to ur blog in ages, i guess where u meet ur partner or wateva really matters and determines ur success rate. Anyways where r u, its been a month since ur last post so pls update.
Probably there is no hard and fast rule. But a gal meets a guy in the club and expects him to be a saint... that will be asking for too much.
So now, the church is the main searching ground... what do u think?
Your blog update is anticipated...
Babe, u haven't blogged in a while. Whats up?
ERR IS NOT TIME TO UPDATE!!!!
hmm this is some serious word right here...now my question is..what is the success rate of a relationship with someone u met on say, facebook?
does where u meet really matter? i think what u are doing when u were met at 'the' place is what matters.
where u dey chick. long time
Sheeeeeeeeeeee's backkkkkkkk...oya update ur blog before u visit anyone else!!!!
hey...welcome u r back..oluwadee and i were just saying how we havent been seeing u around...welcome back..
my only comment on ur last post is...i get that ur friends are upsetting you with their actions but remember they are ultimately responsible for the choices they make.
Oya update o :D
I HAVE TO TOTALLY AGREE WITH AFRO!!!!!!!
AND UZEZI IS SPOT ON...WHAT U WERE DOING WHEN YOU HE MET YOU AT THAT PLACE IS WOT REALLY MATTERS!!!!!!
E.G:
IF U MET A GUY ONLINE AND STARTED HAVING CYBER SEX,....IS DIFFERENT FROM IF YOU MET A GUY ONLINE AND STARTING DEEP MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS..DICUSSING INTERESTS ETC!
P.S:XOXO
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