Will you marry me????????

Overview

In this part of our world, the question – will you marry me? Is seen as a man’s duty, it’s a question that’s basically reserved for the male folks. It’s almost a taboo for a woman to propose to a man in Africa. The general idea is that a man proposes to a woman after he has convinced himself that she is a wife material. A woman on her part waits patiently for the man to pop the question – marry me please, it is believed that it dose not really matter if the woman is sure that the man will make a good husband, her opinion in this issue is seen as irrelevant hence the need to remain silent until the man either decides to make an honest woman of her or throw her out ….eventually.
Most women find themselves in a relationship that’s stagnant, they personally are aware that such relationship should be packed up but because of what they believe to be a ticking biological clock from certain age they stay put waiting, hoping for the man to pop the question that is if he ever dose at his own convenience.
A stagnant relationship is that which has out lived its usefulness, it is seen to remain at a particular level which due to some circumstances it can not cross.


From a man’s point of view

a man surely knows what he wants from a woman before he approaches her in the first instance, if a man is financially ok, with a good job, home and has attained a particular age usually from 30’s, he is deemed fit and ready to make a home. In some cases this maybe true but in some cases again this may not be so. Most men would prefer to settle down after seeing all the good things life has to offer in terms of women, all around the world, buzz etc. those men that falls within the first category would generally be looking and searching for a wife material to make a home but while searching for the wife material, they tend to chill with any available woman until they find what they are looking for. Most women unknown to them, are filling a temporary vacancy while the search continues for the men, the reason they remain in an undefined relationship for so long a time it takes the man to find his perfect match and then the question he has refused to ask all these while comes out – will you marry me?

My view

A woman should not necessarily propose to a man especially with the African setting and all but there indeed are subtle ways to go about these things at least to ascertain if you are not being used to fill a temporary position. When a woman is with a matured man (he is made and ready) for 1-2years and he is not making moves to formally introduce you to his folks neither is he interested in getting close to yours, this should put you on enquiry albeit in a subtly way – dear, when am I formally meeting your folks, am wondering what they look like? Dear, isn’t time for you to come home and at least see and know where mine are? From his reaction and responds to these questions you should be able to tell where you stand, am told that asking a man – will you marry me or not? It puts them at alert. Look for subtle ways to know what he really wants from you is he always talking of the future with you or he singles himself out? It’s very important. If he dose not seem ready to include you in his future plans, please pack him up, forget the ticking clock, wait for yours, he will surely come. Put your sensuality to good use, get a complete make over if you have to, just wait……and be happy while yours comes.

From a woman’s point of view

A woman knows a man she can settle down with, when a woman is ripe to make a home she is always anxious to settle down with the one she loves. It is uncommon for a woman to turn down a marriage proposal, it may not be an outright No, it may come in the form of – common dear, there really is no rush for this now, or in any other form of excuse, when as a man you hear these excuses, plus she has refused or in subtle manner told you you are not welcomed in their home – mummy will not permit male visitors and all that , as a man please find out if you are a temporary fixture in her life while she searches for her real man. Be subtle, it’s very important. If she turns you down once more, please refuse to be used temporarily, pack her up, you are a guy, act as such for pets sake! Get a grip and move on, search for yours for you will find her.

Conclusion

There really is no point hanging around a woman or a man that only wants you to fill a temporary gap while the search for the real one is on, you can save yourself the eventual pain and move on. Isn’t it better to be single for you better half to see and meet with you than to have a temporary fixture occupy your space?
When both parties in a relationship are matured enough, there really is no reason to be in a relationship for say 4-5years before ascertaining if you are meant for each other except of course you are both waiting for the right persons to propose to or accept their proposal.
Ciao
PS, many thanx for all your comments, work wont allow me post individual replies and am usually very useless by time I get home at night, please bear with me but be sure I read every one of them comments and appreciate them…..lol