Thank you all for your honest opinion/comment on the last post, most of the comment took new angles that I couldn’t help agreeing to…..mostly.
I have been away, far away to my home town and I tell you this, mr. laptop refused to function, well not exactly, I messed up my internet provider big time.
How often do we jump into conclusions and how healthy is this?
Its something we all do especially the female folks, it comes easily, little suspicions here and there and with our all-purpose judgment, we conclude and most times these conclusions of ours borders on the assumed facts we ve gathered or having been gathering which probably is or was as a result of one or two slips from our spouses, friends and even family.
Most times, circumstances make our assumptions almost right and if care is not taken we act on these false assumptions and most often than not we reject the truth even when its staring straight on into our face.
Have you ever been in a situation where you find that you have all the facts or say almost all the facts that point an accusing finger at someone?
This someone could be your friends, family or spouse?
Before you take that action of yours please take a moment and do these------
ask yourself if your assumptions are just coincidence, what if its just a play of chance?
consider all the various angles to the issue on ground
give the person a benefit of doubt
imagine yourself in the same position and what you would have done
don’t go attacking without hearing the person out , be sure of your facts, take time to reconfirm them before you take a decision
Some of the scenarios that arouse your suspicions and jump you into conclusion:
you call up your spouse…almost at odd time and or she is not picking…….killer one I tell you…lol
you were suppose to hang out or go out and he or she is no where to be found.......
you call his or her line and a stranger picks up…….
you call and the line is switch off ,..,….when it ought not
the list is endless
a thousand and one reasons may be given for the above scenarios and of course our suspicions may be CORRECT but most times they areWRONG,
Relationships and marriages greatest killer …..Suspicion.
well all am trying to say here is that we take our time in handling these kind of issues as sometimes we may just have a false alarm, take your time to hear people out without sounding suspicious and you never can tell what info they will drop….eventually for your use.
So have you ever been in a situation where you could ve sworn you were CORRECT (your suspicions) but end up being WRONG?
Share with us please?
Regards,
Ms. Emotions
26 comments:
I'm first. Let me go read. Be right back
I can't think of a time when something like this happened to me. But I know it must have, definitely.
Suspicion is a terrible thing. It destroys relationship, whether personal or business. It is hard to be clear headed though, when all the little things around seemingly point to the fact that you could be right.
True word babes.
seriously, me believe that all my suspicions are always accurate oh! i am one of those who never sees wrong where everyother person see, cos i give a long rope, and the rope is really long. but for me to start getting suspicious, i am so never wrong. i know that about me. and that is because i hate to lie to myself, so i don't sugarcoat. i love it blunt.
that appart, suspicion can cause lots of damages especially where the victim is innocent..
assumptions r so bad.
First of all, thank you so much for your advice on my blog! I will continue to disturb you with all my relationship drama:-)
Now to ur question: most of the time, my assumptions are right. But iv been wrong in a few minor situations,lol. Once, I got really pissed at a guy because he was supposed to come see me and I was waiting and waiting and he never called (or so I thought). When he finally got a hold of me, it turned out his other phone had been stolen and he had tried calling me with another number that I had ignored. He was only able to explain this after I gave him an earful of insults and "you dont deserve me's". I felt so stupid when I looked at my phone and saw that he really had called me with the other number-and that he had bought that sim card just to call me.....
Very interesting topic you brought up girl.
I remember when i first got to know O and we had just started our midnite calls.
One night i called and called and the phone kept ringing without him answering.
i swear, i thot a lot of crazy stuff, like maybe he had a babe with him and all that.
it turned out that he had gone to see off a pal of his who was travelling and left his phone at the guy's place.Good thing his friend only went for a one day trip.
Its very important to have trust in a realtionship but it takes time to grow that trust.
ha!...great topic o...although, i have to say, i'm a bit like uzezi in that my assumptions, when i decide to act on them tend to be accurate...even if you try and lie about it...i'll allow you lie and then ask you something that proves for both of us that it was a lie...
...if i am not sure, then i try not to act on it...where do you get your topics?...
my dear o, i'd have liked 2 agree with u on this subject but times & times again my instincts have proved 2 b correct. i wish i had really investigated my siscipions dan waved it off like i usually do, only 2 discover later dat i'd b duly warned
you know, the men are so on when it comes to assumptions. its not a girl thing...
i had this guy who i would have liked, but he kept assuming stuff...just because. it pissed the hell out of me and just pionted out how insecure he is.
as for me. i have my assumptions and suspicions, but i keep them to myself untill i can prove something(if i want to), it doesnt pay to get obsessive on suspicion...
hmm true talk o..
yeah i guess sometimes i have over assumed and it has landed me in serious trouble, but sometimes or mostimes my insticts have been right.
like recently i was feeling a bit left out amongst mY click of friends, they were not Calling or doing the normal stuff friends ought to do anymore, i needed to speak with people, but i couldn't reach out to them, i could sense rejection..i was going through a lot but they were doing thier own thing..
i mean this facebook thing for example, each time i came on, they were so into each other, everyone was caring at least for themselves, writing on thier walls, blabla bla, they left me out and it hurt badly, i didn't bother to find out why they were doing these things or maybe i was paranoid...but to prevent further hurt i blocked them from my page, i couldn't take it anymore..
so i tried unblocking them sometime later when i had cooled down a bit, but guess what to my amazement, they weren't on my friend's list anymore, i totally missed out on the fact that when you blocked someone, all current ties were broken, i didn't know what to do,afterall they were not even bothered in the first place, because if they cared about me, they should have noticed, maybe called or whatever or maybe i expected too much...
so they got to find out, and everyone is like, oh no, you should have spoken to them about it..well they have all decided to ignore me, even after my attempt to apologise,no one even called except one to find out why or what it was all about...
i was sorry at first but not anymore, because if they were really my friends thay should have cared to find out what was going on.
SO you see, my insticts may have been very wrong, but it did proove in the end, that just maybe there weren't really my friends.
i know it's long, am sorry!
xxx
relatioships's greatest killer is.... lack of effective communication.
u 're right, it can be disastrous to be overly suspicious and to jump to conclusions without giving the other party the benefit of a reasonable doubt. while i also understand that most people react from past experience or other people's.
i have an aversion to personal cell phones. i tend to leave my phone turned off for days,and even when am home i rarely answer my phone.that posed a problem for my boyfie initially,he could never understand why it's difficult to reach me outside of work.it didn't help that his ex was like that too. except she was cheating.
how are u missy?
This might not fit into your request, but I will still share. A friend of mine, was supposed to come online and chat with me. He was transferred to another location and he had told me what was going on at the guesthouse. They were having a sex orgy or something like that. Anyways, I took a nap and came back online. He sent me messages, both on messenger and email but I was not getting any. He wrote all kind of things, apologizing, explaining, telling me, he did not go to the party, and why did I all of a sudden stopped chatting with him. He pleaded, begged and all sorts. I got to read all these later. What had happened was there some internet problem at his end. He could see that I was online, but I did not see him. Me on my side, I did not even think he was at the party, because I know he is not that kind of a person. He thought I was not talking to him, because I thought he was at the party. Talk about wrong assumptions.
Moral of the story, do not assume anything, until you have heard the other person’s side of the story. There is always a second side of a story, either good or bad.
insecurity kills relationships.
i'm with sherri on the phone thing. i rarely turn the darn machines on weekends, except to make quick calls. the housephone? i dont even know the no, so on the rare occasions it rings, must be a wrong no
Hmmm... depends. Most often than not, my suspicions are always right but I would not act over small things like why he is not answering his phone or who he is with etc. Those things are trivial and so must be given enough time to validate themselves ...
i cant really think of a situation where my speculation is not always right.
Waoh, true talk but most times, my assumptions are correct and trust i act on them real good.....interesting post though.
Ms Emotions, ur attention is needed @ mine...
Well, as per assumptions, I know I've been wrong. But with suspicions, like Uzezi said, I give a very long rope and when the person reaches the end of the rope, I cut it off very well, leaving no strands behind. Maybe its because I compartmentalize things, but thats just how it is for me.
My suspicions are neva accurate. so i dont form judgements/opinoins on them.
well i cant think of any cuz am usualy a cautious person...but there are many my boy friend has jumped into and eneded up wrong (but more often than not he is right)
I have, leme share.
When Mr & I startd dating, I was always teln him how tired I was. Then I was alwasy tired n sleepy, so one day he said are u sure you are not pregnant. And we hadn't done the Do.
I was so upset with him, dint even listen to his reason and all. I totally assumed he ment I was sleeping around. I ended the r'ship, and 4 2.5 months i dint pick his calls and all.
I finally heard his side of the story, and he said it cos that what he knows to say as he is a Dr. He was evn upset with me that I was angr over what he said. He had to ask a female co-worker if it was wrong n she then xplained it to him.
Something I should have done right? well now I know btr.
Have a lvli week deariee.
guilty here...sometimes my woman instincts are right though
my sista God bless you plenty, plenty for this post. women can suspect!
if you sneeze-suspect!
if you cough-suspect
you go toilet nko?-suspect!
wetin una no dey suspect self?
nice post ms.emotions i have been countless number of times at the end of a womans suspicious character for quite some time now. abi na crime to be fine boy?
it just irks the shit out of me cos most times i try appealing to the rationality of the chic and also talking long story.
well i have made up my mind and i aint going down that suspicion road again..not now not ever
lol..tufia.why would i do such a thing.deleted by mistake ke? maybe oh..cos I locked my keys in my car twice this week..the gods are mad at me..lol maybe I am just crazy, lol..however it is, that sucks though...although I saw a lot of people complain like me on their help board
Insecurity is a terrible thing o!
I think the best way to go is just trust, pray and hope for the best.
I dont have the energy to be THAT insecure. if you dont answer your calls from some reason, ill just calll LATER. Shio. Is it the end of the world?
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