Wednesday, January 9, 2008

act the bitch .............

I want to thank you all that finds time amidst your tight schedule to read thru and leave comments on my posts, though I may not find time to post individual replies but I want you all to know that you are highly appreciated.



This post is strictly for the gals this time, I know I have also got male readers, please just bear with us ladies this time around. That is not to say you can’t read and leave your comments tho.

Act the bitch simply means act as if you don’t give a care, act as if it dose not matter weather he stays or not, act as if you don’t have any care in the world while showing love.

As Africans there is this good girl lines that most women try to work at. You try to be the perfect girlfriend to your man, too scared to go against his numerous wishes and acting out his fantasies for real.
Dancing to a man’s every wish dose not make you keep his attentions neither dose it make him love you more rather it lowers the respect he has for you and you will only become a bore in a matter of time.


Acting the bitch actually works better in the early days of your dating him, you know those times when you are not sure what he wants, if he is staying or wants to sample and go? Yes those are the most effective periods to act the bitch.
Always have it at the back of your mind that because a man asked you out or for a relationship dose not mean he wants one. I mean how else is he supposed to get close to you other than by giving you the ‘desired’ line.

Having noted that, its now up to you to strategize on how to keep him (that’s if he is worth keeping) after the first few weeks I mean after the initial passion or infatuation wears off. This is were acting the bitch comes in again, at this point be careful how you process this information as it may work for or against you especially when misused.
After the initial infatuation wears off you are faced with the issue of keeping his attention and making it work. Keeping a relationship after the first few months especially after the passion has been spent is a little bit difficult, you find that both of you wants excitement, something to encourage you to stay and when this is not happening a relationship goes bad.
In as much as you dance to your man’s every whims, you grant him less challenges, granting him less challenges makes him believe he has conquered and having believed he has conquered, he searches for adventures and challenges elsewhere.

Now, there is nothing wrong with your granting your man some of his wishes sometimes, its how many times you grant him such wishes that matters. If you grant a man his fantasies too many times, he tends to take you for granted.

I must say there is a prerequisite for acting the bitch, for you to act as if you don’t care what your man dose in his spare times, for you not to be jumpy as regards who calls him or who he calls, for you take time off even when you are suppose hang out with him to see your friends or do some other things of interests that those not include him and then come back to him with details of a well spent day and then make excuses for your absence, for you to encourage him when he chooses to hang out with friends instead of you which is practically what acting the bitch is all about, you must very comfortable in your own skin and be able to take charge of your life.

True some men are scared of women that have a life but the real men respect and run after them. Some men call them bitches while most men run after these bitches who in the real sense are complete women.
Its nice to alternate being the good girl and the bitch just to keep their attention, you know stir the pot once in while and keep the excitement going.

Personally I don’t read relationship books because they all say the same thing, I research, surf the net, add whatever I find to what I see happen around me and my personal principles then I get my ideas, am only trying to say your objective criticism and improvement if any is always welcomed.

Cheers.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sometimes some girls over act the bitch. all they need are little propmtings like these and they go haywire.
Its nice and guys appreciate it f u are real and dont pretend. But when u overdo things trying to get his reaction u may never see him again to get a feedback.
Just be the good girl u've always been and work to improve on ur weakness and if possible bring it to his notice.
When u demostrate 'i too know' to naija guys they see u as wild and ur chances of staying hooked are definitely limited.

lulu said...

you kknow what, am tired of relationships, i nvr get it right
and i rad allllll those relationship books

little miss me said...

good advice you have there..sometimes you have to be mentally aggressive to get what you want..keep your man on his toes,leave him wanting more every now and then..but it gets so hard cos after a while you feel you have spent more time trying to make said relationship work than you did enjoying it.

diary of a G said...

I heard a girl recently told her friend: you gotta treat Guys like ish or else they treat you like ish

they is some truth in what this is about

guerreiranigeriana said...

is it really acting like a bitch that you want?...if you are acting like a bitch and that is not who you are, isn't that similar to acting like a good girl, that you may not be?...isn't 'acting' in relationships a problem anyway?...

...i am not a relationship buff nor do i claim to know a damn thing about them...if you have to go so out of character (which is different from compromising) to win a guy or help him realize your worth, i wonder if it is worth it...and maybe it depends on the guys/girls (for the guys) you deal with...interesting...

eloquence of expression said...

I aint no girl but I have my moments.
I get sporandic traffic on my blog from time to time. You is the one that wanted soo badly to leave a comment. For that you get to choose between a HOT wet air smoach or a Hundred Dollars in Monetary. What is it gonna be?

Ms. emmotions said...

@ nwaokonaku - ur comment is appreciated and ur point noted, but like i mentioned in the post, acting the bitch while showing love is diff from actin the bitch without any emotions. its not act per sa, its just u knowing wen to give in to his numerous demands and when to get a life for urself. am an african girl and as such believes that a man should be respected but am total against women being pushed around in the name of relationship.
thanx

@ lulu - why not send me a mail and tell me all about it? i feel i may be able to help this ur present state, i personally am not into relationship books, all say the same rubbish. pls take it easy on urself, waiting to hear from u sugar.

@ little miss me - howdy ? am sure i wished u a happy new year but i can do so again - hapi new year dear. i understand wat u mean dear but a relationship that is not worth ur time is not worth it, some guys/relationship is worth keeping and even working to make it into something permanent.

@D of a g - not just some truth dude,most of it is true, u need to see wat some gals go thru in the name of relationship.

@guerreiranigeriana - true, but acting aint just acting , it means having a life and not letting a guy determine wen u are happy.

el~correcta said...

i agree with you,but not totally though.while some guys sometimes need to see the 'bitch' in their partners to respect them,some guys misinterpret these actions and the whole act backfires.Some may even think you want out by exhibiting some of these 'bitchy' acts.Contrary to what people say,i think there is way over more than one person for everyone, so people should just be theirselves in relationships. See,we can easily tag one or many reasons to why a relationship broke up.But if it wasn't meant to be then it simply wasn't meant to be.

Joy Isi Bewaji said...

we have all these principles for women, none for men.
why do we always have to be the ones to be 'perfect'.
na wa!
happy new year dear!

Flourishing Florida said...

this is really lovely. am going to pass it around to my girl friends.

my very last relationship, d one dat really opened my eyes to what i was doing wrong all this while, ended cos i gave him everything he wanted. then after i'd spoilt him, he started acting up, treating me wrongly. then i said enough. quite all right i called it quits, but i was really really hurt cos i recognised d part i played & how it has been a pattern with me. now, am giving myself d break & really re-learning my ways. maybe when am finally ready 2 try d dating scene again, i'd do better. in any case, i think nwaokonaku is right. some chicks really overdo it o!!!

thanks 4 d comment on my post. yeah, i was really upset. i love my mom but somethings i wonder if she wants me 2 end up in an unhappy marriage as she herself has (guess what, i discovered just this week dat it wasn't my dad she orginally wanted to marry, but that her mom had convinced her dat d other guy was 'too far' - he was 4rm another state!!!!!)

♥♫♪nyemoni♫♪♥ said...

I feel you on this one...sometimes you've gotta act totallyopposite to tell guys you're not a push over but there's really no hard and fast rule..There's a need to identify the situation you're in, decide whether or not it's worth you time and doing your ish..

Have a happy new year!

Afrobabe said...

I agree to a certain extent...

problem with me is..most times its not an act...If I act like I dont care,its cos I dont....

Found out it seems to get the guys more eager though....guess they like doing the begging and chasing...beg on darlingsss......

guerreiranigeriana said...

eh hehn...so, if you are having a genuine life and not allowing yourself to be a doormat, are you acting?...and a bitch of all things?...if you are doing you anyway, you don't have to act, scheme and plan ways to show him anything...

...as for the long post, sorry...i am a bit longwinded at times:0...and i don't know what they are conveying either...it's good to shake your ass to!!!...remember, monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, boys dey hustle;)...kisses...

miss hotbody said...

I think you are coming on too strong. Don't be a bitch, be ur self. Truth is , there are at least two pple in a relationship and neither is perfect. Give a little, take a little, never expect what too much but never be afraid because of that and life is beautiful

Anonymous said...

I am so happy I'm imperfect!! Most times we're not really being bitches. We're just being chicks and keeping it real!!!

rethots said...

i agree with isi, we need not act; if 'twill be, it will. Which even makes it better, we won't neet to remember lines.
...and He whispered; "I have added to your joy this new year."
Happy New Year

anonymous gal(retired blogger) said...

hmm. actin the bitch requires a balancin act. im nice by nature i find it hard to act the bitch but my friends who do hv guys fallin over themselves and ex beggin like lost puppies. i think this really works.

Ms. emmotions said...

el~correcta - hmmmm, i feel u on that but believe me, for a relationship to lead to where some matured gals want it to lead, a little pushing is required to keep the fun going, like i said, its all about balancing it, u naw, not going to the extrems

isi - same to u dear, but u seeee, its us gals that wants to settle down at the right age and have kids with the man we love, wat do a guy care? he can settle down at 40 for all he cares

florida of free spirit - lol, gosh thats funny about u mum i mean, well just take it easy and be happy thats all that matters dear.

nyemoni - same to u dear, hmmm, thanx

afrobabe - hey babes, in seem to be in charge, gud for u cos thats wat i preach.

guerrerianigeriana - lol, well, i donno

miss hotbody - but all u have said is wat being a bitch is all about, i said so in the post.
compliments dear

kreativemix - i agree wit u completely, howdy?

rethots - there are no lines dear, well i believe in the supreme power, u naw wat will be will be, but u no wat they say about heaven helpong those who helps themselves abi?
thanx dear

anonymousgal- but acting the bitch dose not make u mean or less nice gal, commmon dont give up being nice, its actually a virtue
gud to see ya around dear

Jinta said...

omg! what am i doing here? shame.
ms. emo, this post, methinks, would have been better pitched toward male readers because, contrary to what you all think, we actually know what works for us better than you do. You would have gone on a fantastic journey of discovery.
other than that, i will not give an opinion but find the others very.....interesting.

desperate lady said...

girl i tried all that n it didnt work for me. I think if a guy really loves you, whether u act a bitch or be the maid, he'll still love u regardless.I'm even tired of relationships sef, i just want to go to church direct and get married.

Afrobabe said...

lmao at DL...me too babes...i don tire...like I'll take the next one...they are all the same thing anyway...

Joy Akut said...

i'm a bitch!!!!

James Tubman said...

this definately not for the guys

i agree that women shouldn't give in to every whim that he has or he will take you for granted

on my blog i have a post called "how to stop being overly addicted and get a grip"

where i talk about having other things in your life that give you value and fulfillment other than your mate

and cussing and fussing is not the answer all the time

you can get much more out of a man by being nice than acting like a... well... i'm not gonna say it

James Tubman said...

@fantasy... no you're not

you're a goddess

all afrikan women are

Ms. emmotions said...

jinta- ok! jinta dear, please tel us what works better on u guys. plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, else i will stalk ur page every min....lol

DL - lol....now who dose not want to just go straight to the alter and avoid all them protocol humm?
howdy?

afrobabe - common babes, am sure u are getting close, u never can tel when a dude comes to u on his kneels....babes will u pls be mine?

fanstasy queen - hmmmmm, i envy u dear

james tubman - i feel u , am off u to ur page to get a grip of ur talks,,tanx for stoppin by dude

Ms. emmotions said...

eloquence of expression - funny, am trying to figure out which to settle for

Miz Arkitect said...

nice post... simply be you and don't take what u wudnt from the start !!! dont be extreme about it just principled ....

TheAfroBeat said...

Informative post! I'd say a girl should have her own life regardless of whether she's in a relationship or not, and I agree with some bloggers above that that should not constitute acting, better to be yourself and be loved for the boring you or the slamming socialite that you are, so that months down the line when the real bitch/non-bitch in you gets comfortable enough to come out, your significant other isn't in shock, wondering what the hell happened. I'm glad you qualified the acting the bitch phase as something that should be tried mainly in the early days/months of the relationship though!

Once again, great post!

Jinta said...

Ms., i can only speak for myself. I like a woman to be thoughtful and mature, to take the edge off me. I want to be comfortable near her. I love it if I can depend on her reasoning power when I am being perverse, in other words, a strong woman.

Now, for the ‘bitch’, I don’t dispute some men are attracted to them, perhaps that is why the word masochism was invented, however, personally, PERSONALLY, personally (for you guys sharpening your claws), I think it’s just bad etiquette. It simply reeks of a lack of good pedigree and an expression of bad faith when acting the bitch is seen as a form of effective relationship, especially with your partner. Women do not appear to see the irony in it when the men later turn and become deceitful and disrespectful. Strong women are always infinitely gracious, so courteous you are scared to put a foot wrong as a man. I would drop a ‘bitch’ like hot coal and douse her fire quick time.

I suppose the bottom line is to get a man that’s good for you. When a woman schemes, some men can see her coming a mile off, toy with her and then let her dump them when they’re sated, however, no man will ever disrespect a polite woman. Think about that.

princesa said...

I agree with guerreira,no need to act what one is not in a relationship.

For me, i believe that a lil' bit of bitchness is good but babes... dont over do it.

When u are in love, its hard not to give it all u've got but one has to also watch out for signs from ur partner. If he gives equally then no sweat but if not abeg girls take it easy lest he says you are smouldering him!

Ms. emmotions said...

jinta - thanx a lot, its noted, will incorporate this into something am working on now and probably do a post on it sonnest.

thanx again due!

princesa - hullo pretty, howdy?

Jinta said...

thank you ms emmo, hope my comments didn't come across as too strong

Joy Akut said...

@ jt, i sure am a goddess(thanx), but one who takes no ish...thus a bitch in this context, not literally.

Onome said...

hmmmmmmm.....well, its good not to show all ur emotions though, let d guy do a bit of chasing...but at d end of d day it depends on d parties concerned...

Sherri said...

am totally against all acts.
any kind of acting,phony/fickleness are signs of immaturity(my opinion)

i think most females do not take the time to discover themselves and are not comfortable in their own skin,some just want to be with a man at any cost and hereby gets blown by any wind.

a real woman is one that knows her likes and dislikes,(inclusive of in men and women) strengths and weakness would not hesitate to let any one know it.

@dl,
girl, u have lost it!lol
from the alter to separate homes?