Friday, January 25, 2008

What constitutes cheating in a relationship?...........most times women cheat too

Indeed this is a controversial topic hence the need for my in-depth research to familiarize myself with what cheating itself is all about.

Cheating is the Violation of Exclusivity, Physical and Emotional that binds those in a Committed Relationship
There is some controversy as to that which constitutes "cheating" in a marriage or other committed relationship.

I think I was a bit myopic when I summed up and asked the question ….can men be faithful in relationships? that I have chosen to correct this so as to properly deliver this topic of mine, now I ask …..Are those in committed relationships always faithful even when they are apart from each other?
One cheats when one shares intimacy with the non-partner and violates the quality of exclusivity.

Staying faithful is indeed a personal decision that has to be taken by an individual, male or female, its also dependent on the kind of relationship it is you are in, some people in the early stage of their relationship agree to go ‘monogamous’ or ‘polygamous’ as the case maybe.

In the above context, am going to answer the question I posed in my last post…. if my friend’s boy friend had agreed with my friend to go polygamous while away, he definitely isn’t cheating on my friend by having sex with other women, but if their relationship was agreed to be exclusive, then he really has been cheating on his girlfriend.

I try to be very realistic in all I do and I say, which brings me back to the same tots I had when I put up the last post. My friend’s boyfriend most definitely has not been without a woman for 11months 16 days now, no matter how emotional we get here, he definitely has been with a woman, this was confirmed even by his own gf, she obviously dose not believe he has been celibate since then, what matters now is this….now that they are engaged, he is expected to be faithful as the announcement of their engagement has implied that they have moved to another level were utmost exclusivity has to come into play.
Different women have a different view as to what constitutes ‘cheating’. For some women, for the man simply to look at another woman may be regarded as cheating, for other women it is being intimate with another person that constitutes ‘cheating, and there are some women who appear able to accept flirting and even intimacy with another person but it is an emotional involvement that constitutes ‘cheating’ – Douglas woods.
Cheating is usually a symptom of an unhealthy relationship। It destroys friendships, breaks trust, and causes guilt, anger, hurt and many other negative emotions। Cheating in relationships is not going to last. People know all these facts, but still go on cheating others.


There are several reasons why cheating, adultery, infidelity and extra marital affairs often occur in many relationships. People are complicated and appearances can be deceptive. Cheating in relationships depends upon several factors. One important factor is the choice of a partner or spouse. If the choice is not in line with what they require or wish, or with what their partner can give them, there is a chance of cheating.
Ciao

20 comments:

desperate lady said...

!ST! HEHEHEHE
Fantasy queen where u at?

guerreiranigeriana said...

hmmmnnnn...curious why your friend thinks that all of a sudden, an engagement is going to 'magically' make her fiance faithful...if he couldn't stay faithful as 'just' her boyfriend when he had agreed to be committed to only her, the only thing that has changed is that she wears a ring...

Sherri said...

any sexual contact is def cheating, including kissing, smooching and the likes.
emotional cheating is a grey area.
different people cheat for different reasons, some to fill sexual/emotional voids, others just for the excitement.

i have no idea what obtains in naija presently, but here the tables have been turned. study after study show that more females are cheating than males. usually i take the findings of some of this studies with a grain of salt but, just within my circle of friends and colleagues the number speaks for themselves.

personally, my boyfie was taken aback, when i told him my reason for not cheating was not cos of my love for him or being a christian for that matter, but cos of my love for myself.
yes o, i love myself too much to disrespect myself by cheating.

Miz Arkitect said...

4 sure u dotted all your i's in this post ..cheating??? i donno about just looking coz i look @ guys n i dont think thats cheating i think it is when there is an action. also an announced engagement doesnt stop a cheating man . more often it gets worse coz they scared they about to be stuck for life with just that lady.

Anonymous said...

Ms emmotions how are u so sure her fiance cheated? Did u see him cheat?
And y are u even tryna figure out if ur friend.s fiance cheated?
Ill say what I said the last time, cheating is cheating whether we all like it or not.
So we all need to stop making excuses for cheating and Ms emmotions, not all men are the same so leave ur friend's fiance alone biko.

Jinta said...

is it regarded as cheating if you were not found out? of course

this world goes round on sex and money, most people 'cheat' to varying degrees. for example, men and women flirt at work in ways they would not behave if their respective partners were present.

people will hoo-ha about 'cheaters', probably only afrobabe (and I) will admit to having cheated on blogville, however, it's going on round the clock. people like their little secrets...

Afrobabe said...

lol...jinta...take your time oh...

Naija Chickito said...

There are varying degrees of cheating, but cheating is cheating! For example, if a woman should get emotionally attached to another (or vice versa), it is cheating. She may not have had sex with him, but she has cheated.

Jayn Sean said...

This sounds more like my current post.
I still donno what constitutes cheating. Why cant people stick to what they have?

Mostly its done for fun, and just for that moment.

But still...its not right.

How you doing gal?

anonymous gal(retired blogger) said...

wow this is deep.sure females cheat alot infact.but they all claim to have just one major guy. me i think it requires a lot of thinkin to cheat. i hate thinkin

Allied said...

Looking at another female is not cheating but touching is

Joy Akut said...

allied, i almost agree with u, but some form of flirting is so cheating to me.
i think i'm a flirt, a harmless clueless one, sometimes i love having phone conversations wit a guy for hours...talk freely like i wouldnt if the mr(one reason i dont have one) is present, facebook and do IM's.
thinking of it now makes me realise that all this constitutes cheating, emotional cheating. it caves way for the physical since u get so comfty/cozy wit urselves wit words...the next thing u're goin to the next level.

ShadeCrown said...

Hmmmm interesting read, cheating will always be cheating and ppl need to stop making excuses.

♥♫♪nyemoni♫♪♥ said...

cheatin is cheating whether you're found out or not...lol..your friend should know that with or without a ring he will cheat if her wants to!

Anonymous said...

Nice blog u have......To address real emotional issues. Plz, carry go, your pen will not run outta ink.You must be very innovative. Bravo ma sixta!!!

Flourishing Florida said...

i've used up all my energy to comment on d previous post, so i shall say nothing on this issue. For me, cheating is when sex happens, & this applies to both male & female. Have i cheated b4, yes. Not only did i cheat, i did so with a married man. Maybe i needed to have committed dat crime to get off my high with it comes to this subject.

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Anonymous said...

I think committing a sexual act with the opposite sex is cheating,anything else I don't think so as flirting is healthy and kissing and just a kiss doesn't always mean anything and I think it's to do with ur relationship aslong as you have your boundaries and you know both know what constitutes as cheating what is it anyone else business.these days people look too much into boys and girls having relationships that it gets complicated and friendships can fall apart. Every girl likes attention whether it be from there partner or anyone else.

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