IS SEX ENOUGH?

Its 7am on a Monday morning, as I sit to look at my ‘to do’ list I can’t but pray fervently for the holidays to come. I look forward to those quiet mornings when I don’t have o set my alarm to 5am or rush out to face the hectic Lagos traffic. Enough of the self pity and let’s move on to today’s biz. By the way, hope you all are doing great and had a great weekend cos I sure did.

I want to thank all of you that took your time to read thru the last post and your honest opinions and comments.

You can call this a continuation of the last post,

I want to set the record right by stating that SEX is NOT always enough to make a good relationship. My last post was just to place emphasis on the importance of a good sex in a relationship and not to lead people to believe that just sex or good sex guarantees a good relationship. From the comments I got on that post, I think I may have mislead some of you to believe that sex is the only thing that keeps a relationship going.

I want to define sex and good relationship for the purpose of this post.

SEX: this is the act of love making between two people that are in love or feels something other than lust for each other.

GOOD RELATIONSHIP: this is the relationship between two adults that have marriage on their mind though they may not have proposed yet.

Now, I need you all to understand that at all times, the relationship I refer to is as defined above.
I am an African and as such place much importance on marriage. This is not to say that marriage must become a do or die affair, but marriage should be grabbed when it’s within our reach. We all know that these days, its hard to find somebody we can love and who will also bw willing to reciprocate our love, in other words, it’s hard to build a good relationship and remain in such relationship till it reaches its expected end which in this case is marriage or something close to it. Make no mistakes, I am aware that not all relationships leads to marriage, but please have it at the back of your mind that at all time, I Ms. Emotions believes that ‘this’ relationship should lead to marriage (grins) but don’t kill yourself if it dose not, just move on.

i really don’t know why sometimes, I have this weird idea that having sex is different from love making in a relationship. Just like “@ fantasy queen” had said in her comment on the last post, make up sex can be great yet the relationship it self is rotten. It’s in this kind of scenarios that I find myself believing that you don’t have sex in a good relationship, what you do or have is make love or love making.

Great sex is not enough to keep a relationship neither is it enough to make a relationship great. It is assumed that people get into relationships with some level of love or feelings no matter how small for each other. Based on this, it is expected that this couple do not engage in just sex, they make love, and you all will agree with me that love making has this binding force that tends to bring couples closer. Of course people have sex without necessarily having any emotional attachment to their partner, this is why I had gone ahead to define sex and relationship for the purpose of this post. Love making has powers of its own, it has this force that makes you to either re appraise that relationship or define it, it even makes you try analyzing your relationship.

Like I mention in my last post, Nigerian women find it difficult to enjoy love making, they almost do not take active part in the love making, I can imagine why a woman can be creative and take the lead in love making. I have this guy friend that is almost 35 years yet single, each time I bring up the issue of him not having a steady girlfriend let alone married, out of the blues, a naughty grin appears on his handsome face as he speaks of his many experience with our Nigerian women, “don’t mind these girls that can’t afford to be themselves, imagine you meet a girl, make your intentions for a steady relationship known and when you get down to making love she turns into an ice maiden. Look, I have had to try on several occasions to see if this will change rather it gets worst, and you know me now, how am I supposed to be in a relationship wit a girl I might end up marrying and always go out for sexual fulfillment? ‘’

This is what my friend keeps saying each time the issue of him being single comes up. This has made me understand why most relationship becomes stagnant. When a man can not derive pleasure with his spouse, he either moves on or remains while searching for a replacement and when this happens we say we say ‘he broke my heart’.

Sex alone is not enough to keep a relationship though, other things like trust, commitment, understanding each other, giving room for open communication, respect , gratitude amongst others are also needed.
You can’t keep your man or get a man to love you by giving him full dose of sex, you must have defined your relationship before hand and then with good sex and other relationship ‘ingredients ‘ you should have yourself a good relationship.

But don’t forget that if a relationship is not defined, you may apply all of the relationship ‘ingredients’ and yet you find your self messed up. Don’t go dating a man that has not in clear terms asked you to be his girlfriend with the intention of keeping him with great sex and all cos it won’t work.

Wow! I have to go back to work now before I get a query from by boss lol.

As always, your comments are highly appreciated.

Compliment of the season to you all.

Ms. Emotions